Geeks Vs Loneliness: when you can’t stand up

Not everyone who stays seated is doing that because they want to...

Hello, and a warm welcome to Geeks Vs Loneliness, the spot on the site where we talk about things that may be affecting you, or people around you. Our rules are simple. We don’t pretend that everything we write can help everything, but we do try. Hopefully, something in this series will be of use to you.

This week’s entry in the series is a straightforward one, and it touches on something we come to quite a lot: invisible disabilities. But in particular, recognising the fact that many people cannot stand for long periods of time without support. They may not have a wheelchair, they may not have crutches. There may be nothing obvious to people as to why. But they can’t. The pain is too much. The discomfort too great.

The problem is that what people can’t see often brings with it judgement. I know several people, for instance, who have been to music concerts, and physically can’t stand up. They thus end up looking at the back of someone else who’s able to dance along, and I’ve known comments along the lines of ‘what’s the point of coming if you’re not going to dance’.

Sometimes, it’s just not that easy.

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I know people who have to cancel a night out at the last minute, because the physical pain is too great. Who have to move to the front of a long queue in the hope of simply finding a chair to sit in, to take the agony away. And too many times, that comes with a judgement, sometimes even a verbal one. Are they lazy? Are they queue jumping? Are they taking the rise?

No. They’re very often in the kind of pain that most of us, thankfully, don’t have to deal with on a daily basis.

A lot of times with Geeks Vs Loneliness we come back to the guiding ethos of none of us fully knowing each other’s story. Sure, some people aren’t great people. Some people are mean. But we don’t know what’s going on behind their closed doors, and they don’t know what’s going on behind yours.

If nothing else, take this piece as one of our fairly regular request to just cut each other a bit of slack. Lots of you do, and that’s great. But we all have off days. Just, if you can, bear in mind that the person who doesn’t seem to be standing up, dancing, being the life and soul of the party, simply physically can’t be.

You all stay brilliant.