CHIKARA’s Tomorrow Never Dies: This Saturday on iPPV

Saturday evening, CHIKARA Pro Wrestling will be doing their season finale. Here's a look at the matches and the stories leading up to them.

On Saturday December 6th at 7pm, CHIKARA Pro Wrestling will be hitting up their season finale Tomorrow Never Dies. It’ll be taking place in the 2300 Arena in Philadelphia (otherwise known as the legendary ECW Arena). It’ll be available on iPPV and you should totally check it out because it’s going to be awesome. Though the main show will start at 7, there will be a free pre-show at 6:20.

CHIKARA, the Fun-Filled Lucha Supershow, is a wrestling promotion that mixes quality wrestling, colorful characters, hilarious comedy, and really strong storytelling. The storylines tend to be a bit out there at times, featuring such concepts as mind-control, time-travel, and – in this year’s case – outright murder. While definitely outside of the box and more comic booky, CHIKARA’s storylines are great because they’re actually well-planned and well-told. It isn’t like in the more mainstream companies where interesting angles suddenly vanish without explanation with zero payoff and all that jazz. In CHIKARA, your stories will get a beginning, middle, end, and even after that it may organically lead to something better down the line.

Heck, one of the matches at this show is a blow-off to a storyline that’s been going on for a legit five years with a rivalry that’s existed for nearly nine years! But don’t worry, I’m here to give you the lowdown.

Before I get to the matches, here’s what you need to know: CHIKARA has been around since 2002. In mid-2013, they did a story where the company was destroyed. Long story short, the company remained missing for a full year until wrestler Icarus led the fans and fellow wrestlers into bringing it back in May. CHIKARA’s been opposed by a massive stable called the Flood, made up of various anti-CHIKARA stables from throughout the years. Think of it like if WCW’s heroes had to take on a group made up of a bunch of nWo guys, Raven’s Flock, the Dungeon of Doom, the Natural Born Thrillers, Team Canada, and the lWo. At first the leader was revealed to be the notorious Jimmy Jacobs, but he was only working for an unstoppable tank of a man known only as Deucalion.

And through 2014, there has been a bodycount. The war between CHIKARA and the Flood has taken many casualties. Heroes and villains have fallen and it’s coming to a head this Saturday.

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Here’s the card.

CAGE MATCH: ICARUS VS. DEUCALION

When CHIKARA was closed down by its evil corporate overlords, it was Icarus who stood up and did what he could to put it back together. Once the most hated man in CHIKARA, Icarus became the heroic leader by fighting for the company he believed in and inspiring others to follow suit. At the season premiere You Only Live Twice, Icarus defeated Eddie Kingston to win the CHIKARA Grand Championship, at the cost of suffering a bad concussion. Though Icarus has successfully defended the belt over the year, he hasn’t been 100%.

Not much is known about Deucalion, who appears to be like some kind of hybrid of Bane and Shao Kahn. He first appeared at the end of You Only Live Twice, where during a CHIKARA vs. Flood brawl, he shrugged off the offense of fan-favorite Kobald and murdered him with a chokeslam/backbreaker. Over the season, he’s appeared at times to wipe out certain members of the roster. He’s killed off CHIKARA names like the Estonian Thunderfrog, Latvian Proud Oak, and Archibald Peck. He’s killed off his own underlings like deviANT and the Shard for failing him. He’s killed off rookies Equinox III and Create-a-Wrestler II for getting in his way. He won’t stop until CHIKARA is destroyed for good and he lays the blame on Icarus’ feet. If he had just left well enough alone, none of this would have happened.

Rumor has it that Deucalion is actually a soldier of fortune wanted by the UN for war crimes. He is speculated to be working for Titor Conglomerate, the corrupt organization that once owned CHIKARA and tried to end it. All we know is that the black-pupiled mastermind is nigh unstoppable. Being that this is his first singles match, he hasn’t earned a shot at the Grand Championship, but there may not be much of Icarus left by the time he’s done anyway. A crushed champion is good enough.

TORNEO CIBERNETICO: TEAM CHIKARA VS. TEAM FLOOD

The Cibernetico match is an annual staple in CHIKARA and this is the first time it’s been on iPPV. It’s a 16-man tag match, very similar to a Survivor Series match, but with two major differences. One, there’s a batting order. Only one man is allowed to stand on the apron for the tag while the others line up behind him. Once somebody tags out, they go to the back of the line. The other difference is that there can only be one winner. If one team wins with three survivors, then they have to turn on each other until there’s only one left.

The captain of Team CHIKARA is Worker Ant of the Colony, formerly known as assailANT. Worker Ant used to be part of the anti-CHIKARA group GEKIDO (which later became part of the Flood) until turning over a new leaf and proving himself loyal to the CHIKARA cause. He’s joined by his Colony teammates Fire Ant and Silver Ant. Also on the team is Jervis Cottonbelly, the World’s Sweetest Man and close friend to the fallen Estonian Thunderfrog. Amasis and Ophidian from the Osirian Portal have also been brought in, having had plenty of problems with the Wrecking Crew in the past couple months. Then there’s Kodama and Obariyon of the Batiri, still fuming over the death of their beloved sidekick Kobald back in May.

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The captain of Team Flood is Jakob Hammermeier. Jakob arrived into the company years ago as the lowly announcer of the faction Die Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (BDK). He’s been portrayed as a toady and a victim and while the crowd gave him sympathy for his plight, he found himself disgusted by their pity. By making a deal with Deucalion, Jakob has taken over the BDK and got revenge on former leader Ares. Now he’s calling the shots, at least in this match, where he’s joined by his bodyguard Nokken and various representatives from different corners of the Flood roster. Flex Rumblecrunch, Oleg the Usurper, and Jaka are part of the unstoppable Wrecking Crew. The crazed ringmaster Sir Oliver Grimsley comes from the Odditorium. Volgar is Jimmy Jacobs’ mysterious right hand man. Then there’s Soldier Ant.

Soldier Ant was a founding member of the Colony until the previous owners of CHIKARA forced him out of the team for the sake of shaking things up. Soldier Ant found himself more and more unhappy without fighting alongside his team and eventually vanished completely. Though Fire Ant and Silver Ant searched high and low for him, there was no luck in tracking him down. Then he reappeared as a member of the Flood. Has he been brainwashed or is it an act of vengeance for embracing his replacement Worker Ant? Nobody seems to know for sure.

LOSER LEAVES CHIKARA: ULTRAMANTIS BLACK VS. DELIRIOUS

These two have been rivals since early 2006. UltraMantis was once a deranged megalomaniac with tag team partner Hallowicked at his side. UltraMantis was injured, so at a tag team tournament, they picked a name out of a hat for a random replacement. The insane and indecipherable Delirious was chosen and immediately hit it off with Hallowicked. This led to Hallowicked splitting from UltraMantis and UltraMantis responding by creating a new dark crew in the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple. While wildly popular with the fans despite being bad guys, the Order failed at nearly every turn, especially against Hallowicked and Delirious.

In 2009, UltraMantis Black needed a new third member of the Order and was desperate. Through some shady dealings, he got a hold of a mystical artifact called the Eye of Tyr, which gave him the power to control Delirious and make him his new third man. At the same time, the BDK faction rose into being and stole the Eye of Tyr from UltraMantis…along with control of their new slave Delirious. Hallowicked and the repentant UltraMantis put their differences aside and rekindled their lost bond to get the Eye of Tyr back and return Delirious back to normal (or what counts for normal with him). While they succeeded, Delirious retained his memories and went even more insane. Since UltraMantis Black’s meddling stole two years of his life, he would ruin two years of UltraMantis’ life, starting in 2012. He claimed that 2014 would bring “the end times.”

The war between the two has been something of a stalemate, but Delirious has challenged UltraMantis to this final match where the loser must leave CHIKARA behind. The longest of rivalries will finally reach its end.

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: THE THROWBACKS VS. THE DEVASTATION CORPORATION

The Throwbacks are the current Campeonatos de Parejas (tag champs), having earned the belts in the first half of the season. Old-timey baseball enthusiast Dasher Hatfield and his step-brother-in-law “Mr. Touchdown” Marc Angelosetti have never been closer and it’s brought them much success. Unfortunately, they’re now facing a threat that may be too much for them to stand up against.

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The Devastation Corporation, Max Smashmaster and Blaster McMassive, have dominated the tag ranks since showing up in 2012. Along with their third member Flex Rumblecrunch, they’ve completely owned 2014. Most notably, the three won CHIKARA’s prestigious King of Trios tournament where in the finals, they crushed the team of Icarus, Dasher, and Mr. Touchdown. Since then, they’ve gathered enough wins to get them a title shot and even defeated the Throwbacks in a ten-man tag match.

The match will be best two-out-of-three falls, so the champs will need more than luck to survive Max and Blaster’s wrath.

EDDIE KINGSTON VS. JIMMY JACOBS

Eddie Kingston was the first CHIKARA Grand Champion and over time, he and the fans had a major falling out. When CHIKARA was gone, he was content with it because it meant he got to keep the title belt (which he calls “her”) without any danger of being dethroned. When CHIKARA returned, Icarus defeated him for the belt and Kingston fell into a deep depression. Flood honcho Jimmy Jacobs ended up convincing Kingston to join his side, promising that he could get “her” back into Kingston’s hands. Kingston, desperate, followed orders and would have succeeded. Through brutalizing much of the CHIKARA roster, Jacobs convinced Icarus to relinquish the title in return for their safety, but Icarus talked some sense into Kingston by pointing out that being given the championship belt means nothing. Kingston regained his sense of honor and turned on Jacobs.

The CHIKARA locker room hasn’t been very trusting of Kingston no matter how much he claims to be on their side. Kingston doesn’t seem to care. He merely wants to thrash Jacobs. Jacobs, on the other hand, considers Kingston nothing more than a fool who gave up his dream for petty righteousness. Coincidentally, if Kingston is to win, it’ll net him the third point necessary towards challenging for the Grand Championship.

WINNER CAN ONLY WIN VIA GERMAN SUPLEX: “SMOOTH SAILING” ASHLEY REMINGTON VS. JUAN FRANCISCO DE CORONADO

CHIKARA in 2014 has been all about “Smooth Sailing” Ashley Remington. Having inherited mass wealth from his great uncle and late CHIKARA legend Darkness Crabtree, Ashley Remington’s been transformed into a schmoozing, charming yacht enthusiast who has won the hearts of fans and opponents alike. While having a bit of a temper at times, Remington is usually cool as a cucumber and smooth as can be. Even jerks like Chuck Taylor have taken a liking to Remington’s gentlemanly demeanor, sportsmanship, and tendency to give out fruit baskets as consolation prizes.

Juan Francisco de Coronado is an Ecuadorian aristocrat who hates the “United Staters” and is constantly remarking how in his home country, he’s repeatedly sold out the Ecuadome. He’s selfish and spiteful and resented Remington for daring to use the German suplex as a major part of his arsenal. The German suplex is Juan Francisco’s specialty, darn it! The two have had a couple matches against each other and while it seems like Juan Francisco was beginning to take a shining to Remington, it was just a ruse.

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Now their war over the German suplex will be decided once and for all. In this match, you can only win by pinfall and it has to be done via a German suplex.

YOUNG LIONS CUP FINALS: HEIDI LOVELACE VS. MISSILE ASSAULT ANT

Every year, CHIKARA would hold a title to crown the holder of the Young Lions Cup. Only those 25 and younger would qualify and it has to be someone who has never held the trophy before. This year, the tournament has been outsourced to CHIKARA’s sister promotion Wrestling is Fun. A tournament of 24 indie names has been whittled down to two finalists.

On one side, you have Heidi Lovelace. Despite her size and gender, Heidi has had little problem standing up to her male counterparts, even garnering a win over Eddie Kingston. This is actually her first time competing in a CHIKARA ring, though she’s been a regular at Wrestling is Fun and the other Wrestling Is promotions that have since been eradicated by the Flood.

Speaking of the Flood, the other finalist is Missile Assault Ant. This self-indulgent mockery of the Colony members is part of the radical trio of jerks the Colony XTREME Force, which itself is part of the Flood roster. Easily the most skilled of the trio (other members being Orbit Adventure Ant and Arctic Rescue Ant), Missile Assault Ant has been able to launch his way past everyone on his side of the bracket. Don’t worry if you can’t remember his name. He’ll remind you of it again and again and again and again and again.

This match will be featured on the pre-show, which will start at 6:20.

The show’s going to rule, so check it out Saturday at Smark Mark Video for the live streaming. Also, when the show ends, keep watching for another couple minutes. They tend to toss in a little something extra afterwards.

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