Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: A Message from Starlord

Starlord, and not Chris Pratt, has some choice words about why you should be ready for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 to rock your world.

Normally in the lead-up to new superhero movie or space opera—or those that are all in one, such as the case with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2—we tend to follow what writers say, directors imply, publicists dictate, and actors generally tweet with breathless buildup. There is a rhythm to the rollout for a major summer blockbuster spectacle that often culminates in a week of extreme hype and finally some deep diving interviews. But rarely do we have an extended comment from a character in the film.

Yet, here we are with Starlord, Chris Pratt’s hero(ish) protagonist in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 breaking the fourth wall as if he’s wearing red and black suited pajamas. Taking to Pratt’s Facebook page, Starlord has some words about what to expect from the James Gunn written and directed sequel to a movie about a talking tree and raccoon. And as expected, he is ever so humble while gently comparing his film to Citizen Kane, Michael Phelps, Tom Brady, and four dead presidents.

On May 5th the greatest movie in the history of movies is coming. There has never been and will never again be a movie like this. Seriously. Ever heard of Citizen Kane? We’re much better. Seriously. Our movie just tested at over one million points. Rotten tomatoes already has it at 234% fresh.#GotGVol2 will win every movie award AND about 39 Olympic gold medals in swimming, gymnastics, the skiiing event with the gun, x games, snowmobiling and everything. It will win the World Cup and about 7 super bowl rings, sorry TOM Brady. This movie will fry your brains and lift your spirits. James Gunn will be elected president of the world. They will add the faces of the guardians to Mount Rushmore for sure. We’re gonna get a planet. May 5th will become a national holiday. Everyone will get pregnant. Candy will fall from the sky. Global warming will stop. Dinosaurs will come back to life. Which unlike some movies might tell you, is actually a really good thing. Because they won’t flip out and kill people instead they’ll be your awesome pets. So basically get your tickets as soon as you can. Don’t be the only person on the planet who doesn’t see this movie.

Humbly, Starlord

In case you need a reminder, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is in theaters May 5.