The Walking Dead: “Welcome To The Tombs”, Review

The Season 3 finale gets off to a banner start with a little nerd bashing. Poor Milton. I should stop calling him the Governor’s pet nerd (although, after this review I don’t think I will have cause to refer to him at all). He took that beating (and all the childhood memories I am sure that came with it) like a champ and when the Governor ordered him to kill Andrea, Milton sacked up and tried to kill his boss instead. Nice try buddy, but it is never a good idea to try to commit your first murder (albeit in self defense) on a high functioning psychotic who is already under duress. Milton gets a gut full of giant bowie knife for his efforts.And oh shit, do we get some amazing acting by Dallas Roberts who slowly bleeds out on the torture room floor over the course of the episode. I think I read somewhere that being gut shot (or stabbed) is one of the most painful ways to go. Painful and slow; and indeed Milton was well on his way out the door, metaphorically speaking. But not before telling Andrea that he left a pair of pliers on the floor behind her old timey dental/torture chair, which she can use to escape. But only if she moves her ass. Milton knew he was dying and told her over and over again to get her hands free before he comes back as a walker. Which in my mind means you need to shut the fuck up, stop justifying yourself to the dying guy, and get the dern pliers! This is what makes me insane. The idea that Andrea would stop to reassure Milton (read: herself) is absolutely ridiculous. The two of them were literally in mortal peril. Sigh. You know what? I am just going to stop myself here. Sometimes a show just needs to get you from Point A to Point B while feeling all soft and fuzzy about it and it might not make perfect sense, but if you are left with the soft and fuzzy feelings, mission accomplished. Right?I was so frustrated with the plot device I asked my husband to tie me to a chair so I could see how long it would take to pick up pliers with my toes; just to prove I could do it faster than Andrea. He just kind of looked at me funny.The fuzzy feeling, however, was achieved and the closing scene with Andrea, Michonne, Rick, Tyreese, and Daryl really tug at ye old heart strings. Andrea looks exhausted and resigned and I am reminded that Laurie Holden did the best with what she was given. Man, the writing on this show might give me agida, but you cannot fault the actors. They are magnificent; pretty much across the board. As far as I am concerned, if an actor has not been consistently brilliant, it is simply because they have not gotten enough screen time.Speaking of brilliance, how awesome is David Morrissey? As the Governor, he appropriated the bat shit crazy from Rick and ran with it. He gets a little twitchy early on in the episode when, just before the militia leaves Woodbury, Tyreese and his sister opt out of the attack on the prison. The Governor doesn’t take that very well. He makes a face; a face that looks a wee bit crazy. But he does not just haul off and shoot them; which is a good sign. Heh.The Governor makes the face again, right after the attack on the prison goes awry. Sure, the Woodbury gang rolled up with their stolen military trucks and started shooting indiscriminately. What on earth could go wrong with that plan? As it turns out, the prison was not abandoned as it had first appeared and the little militia had just run up on an ambush. They are quickly routed by loud noise, smoke bombs, and Glenn and Maggie in riot gear (Glenn killed a zombie while tied to a chair, just sayin’). Sissies. That they ran should not come as a huge shock. After all, these are townies, not heavies. The Governor, however, is not having any of it. The man makes that face again and then proceeds to have a psychotic break. Of course, he has been working up to this moment all season. Good job Morrissey, crazy has never looked so fine. Except a few episodes ago when Rick was crazy and sweaty. Or in Season 1 when Shane was crazy, drunk, and in a shower. This show sure does a brisk business in hot men with crazy face. Anywho, the Governor decides he has had enough of the Woodbury whiners, and proceeds to shoot almost everyone in his little militia.You could argue that the man had lost his mind when his daughter turned into a zombie. You could argue that he lost it further when zombie daughter was finally put down by Michonne. Getting stabbed in the face and then rejected by Andrea did not help. He became hell bent on revenge and torture and then killed Milton, his one remaining tie to life before the zombie apocalypse. And now the Governor is driving down the road with his last two lieutenants on what Yvette Nicole Brown on Talking Dead correctly identified as the worst road trip ever.What a perfect, beautiful, descent into madness. Wonderfully executed and pretty freaking terrifying to. What is worse is how much we can start to draw similarities between the Governor and, not Rick, but Carl.Oh yeah, I went there. As the Woodbury militia fled the prison, one teenage boy was stopped in the woods by Carl and Herschel. Carl caps him in the head. I am really starting to love Carl. Was he right to do so? In my opinion, yes. Herschel told the teen to drop his gun. He did not. Instead he continued to creep up on Carl, and as we all know by now, Carl is not going to put up with your bullshit.Herschel, however, was not feeling the Carl love. In fact, he tattles to Rick. Go ahead and tell Rick anything you want, old man. Carl is the new sheriff in town, and he does not need a badge to lay down the law. He doesn’t just put Rick in line; Carl sits that man down, looks him in the eye, and points out all the mistakes he has made since they came to the prison. You take the shot or you deal with the consequences. Then Carl drops the sheriff star and exits stage left the same way Kanye drops the mic.Carl has learned to shoot first. So has the Governor. Shame; they both could have used more Andrea in their lives.

Favorite zombie of the episode:

The extremely slow walking zombie Milton.

 

Zombie kill of the week:

Prison yard walker who had his head exploded clean off.