Rick and Morty: Calculating Jokes Per Minute

Our latest Jokes Per Minute attempt takes on the world of Rick and Morty. Get your calculators out, biiiiitch!

Rick and Morty came out of absolutely nowhere in late 2013. Well, fans of Adult Swim, Dan Harmon’s Channel 101 and Justin Roiland’s original Doc and Mharti shorts may have had some inkling but those 59-ish people weren’t spoiling the surprise for anyone else.

And what a surprise it was! season one of Rick and Morty packed more sheer delight into 11 episodes than most series are able to do over their entire lifespans. I watched each episode once and then again at least three more times, as I tried to convince every unfortunate individual in my life that a crudely animated show that features a pre-teen boy nearly being sexually assaulted by a jellybean was the future of comedy. If only I had hard statistics to back up my claims.

Now, fresh off our deconstruction of one of TV’s other best comedies, Veep, we’re going to statistically break down the jokes in season one of Rick and Morty by calculating its Jokes Per Minute (JPM). Again, this is a terribly unfunny (and perhaps unfair) way to look at a comedy. But Rick and Morty deserves it, just so we have some cold hard statistics to calculate its brilliance aside from the warm feeling it leaves in our tummies.

Like Veep, Rick and Morty presents its own challenges in figuring out exactly what constitutes a “joke.” It features a fair amount of dialogue-based humor, which is easy enough to track. Due to its animated nature, however, it also features a heavy amount of visual humor that can be hard to classify. For the purposes of this study, we’ll count a visual joke once and then ignore it for the rest of the episode unless it is presented in a materially new, funny way. For instance, the introduction of a new species like a “Stair-person” is counted as a joke once, but will not be counted as a joke on subsequent appearances unless it does or says something funny.  Due to all of this visual humor, we’ll also theorize that animated comedies are likely to have a higher JPM than other, traditional sitcoms, but we will hold off on conclusions until we’ve amassed more samples.

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Additionally, Rick and Morty’s individual character quirks like Rick’s frequent alcoholic belching and Morty’s nervous stuttering can be counted as a joke each time since despite the repetition, always appear in a new context. Plus, they’re really, really funny.

This time around, in addition to calculating the average JPM of each episode, we’ve also tracked literally how many jokes there are for each minute of each episode. For instance, the first minute of the entire season features three jokes, while the 11th minute of the sixth episode features eight jokes (see page two for data). 

Finally, we’ve chosen to present the episodes in order from least JPM to most, instead of merely chronological.  Start placing your bets on what will top the list now!

11. Episode 1: Pilot

Running time: 21:33

Total number of jokes: 101

JPM: 4.74

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Minute with highest JPM: 22nd minute (8 JPM)

Best Joke: “They’re not robots, Rick!” – Morty

 “It’s a figure of speech, Morty. They’re bureaucrats! I don’t respect them.” – Rick

That the Pilot features the fewest Jokes Per Minute of any episode seems to track with how most critics feel about Rick and Morty. Few would argue that the Pilot is among the series’ strongest episodes. It does set the anarchic tone early on, however, as Morty ends up committing several murders against his will in the series’ very first episode.

10. Episode 7: Rasing Gazorpazorp

Running Time: 21:25

Total number of jokes: 102

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JPM: 4.80

Minute with highest JPM: 3rd, 4th, 5th mintues (7 JPM)

Best Joke: “Still think it’s a good idea to go through holes without a weiner?” – Rick

“Raising Gazorpazorp” starts off incredibly strong with Morty convincing Rick to buy him a sex robot then spending the next few minutes vigorously humping it. From there, the JPM starts to slow down. “Gazorpazorp” is plenty funny but more conceptual in nature. It has less time for jokes than other episode. As a housekeeping note: I counted “I’m here if you need to talk” as the female Gazorpazorp’s greeting as a joke each time. It never failed to make me chuckle.

 

9. Episode 3: Anatomy Park

Running Time: 22:08

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Total number of jokes: 99

JPM: 4.88

Minute with highest JPM: 5th minute (10 JPM)

Best Joke: “Jacob is your mother’s lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair. Sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.” – Leonard

“Anatomy Park” is amazing and it’s a testament to this show that such a funny episode features the third lowest JPM.  It’s especially fun to watch now that the Jurassic Park franchise is apparently a thing again. I’ve not seen Jurassic World yet, but I find it hard to believe it’s better than this. “Anatomy Park” may have just too much action for a higher JPM. The introduction of each disease-monster is counted as a joke only once. “Morty, can you get to the left nipple?” “Are you kidding, I’m hoping I can get to both of them, Rick,” is a fantastic exchange.

8. Episode 4: M. Night Shaym-Aliens

Running Time: 21:03

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Total number of jokes: 103

JPM: 4.90

Minute with highest JPM: 8th minute (12 JPM)

Best Joke: “Morty, keep your hands off your ding-dong! It’ll keep us safe.” – Rick

“M. Night Shaym-Aliens” is pretty average by Rick and Morty’s lofty standards, which is to say: still great. It also quite randomly features the minute tied for most jokes in the season. That’s the 8th minute of the episode where Jerry is happy he sold a marketing pitch for Apples while the false reality around him glitches out. Somewhat charitably, I counted the fake townspeople’s mantra of “Slow down!” “Looking good!” and “My Man!” all as jokes.

7. Episode 6: Rick Potion #9

Running Time: 21:29

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Total number of jokes: 108

JPM: 5.07

Minute with highest JPM: 4th, 11th, 13 minutes (8 JPM)

Best Joke: “I throw balls far. You want words, date a languager.” – Brad

If this episode were just a 21 minute rap song from the Flu season dance, it’s JPM would be astronomical. “Flu-hating rapper just flowing away / I love Morty and I hope Morty loves me. I’d love to wrap my arms around him and feel him inside me.” “Rick Potion #9” is another great example of Rick and Morty’s visual joke supremacy. The sheer amount of Cronenberg creatures they are able to fit into frame makes it hard for any non-animated show to catch up.

6. Episode 2: Lawnmower Dog

Running Time: 21:01

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Total number of jokes: 112

JPM: 5.33

Minute with highest JPM: 6th minute (10 JPM)

Best Joke: “Where are my testicles, Summer?” – Snuffles (a.k.a. Snowball)

“Lawnmower Dog” is considered by many to be the first great Rick and Morty episode…and it’s only the second ever. By the time an android dog demands to know where his testicles are, it’s clear we are in rarified comedic territory. Every utter of “Bitch” from Scary Terry counts as a joke under JPM rules.

5. Episode 5: Meseeks and Destroy

Running Time: 21:08

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Total number of jokes: 118

JPM: 5.60

Minute with highest JPM: 3rd, 8th, 15th minutes (8 JPM)

Best Joke: “S’cuse me, I’ m a bit of a stickler Meseeks, what about your short game?” – Stickler Mr. Meseeks

This is the first big surprise of the list. “Meseeks and Destroy” is my personal favorite Rick and Morty episode and maybe my favorite comedic episode of television from this decade. The fact that it only just cracks the top five is a little insane and truly indicative of the show’s quality. One thing we can conclude from the episode’s JPM trend, however, is just how consistent it is. From the moment Mr. Meseeks appears onscreen to the moment the townspeople discover King Jellybean’s disturbing stash, “Meseeks and Destroy” never sinks below 4 JPM.

 

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4. Episode 11: Ricksy Business

Running Time: 22:25

Total number of jokes: 128

JPM: 5.75

Minute with highest JPM: 5th minute (9 JPM)

Best Joke: “It’s weird because I definitely believe all men are created equal but at the same time…” – Abradolf Lincler

If we were keeping track of “hilarious new character introduced per minute” “Ricksy Business” would win in a landslide. Bird-Person, Slow-Mobius, Abradolf Lincler. It’s powerhouse after powerhouse. “Ricksy Business” wouldn’t have been my first guess for a top four episode, but it’s the sheer volume of characters that pushes it over the top. The various difference verses and transitions in the “Rick Dance” earned three jokes.

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3. Episode 10: Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind

Running Time: 22:25

Total number of jokes: 134

JPM: 6.02

Minute with highest JPM: 4th minute (11 JPM)

Best Joke: “Looks like payday at Neverland Ranch in here.” – Rick

One of the funniest visual jokes of the entire series thus far is the Wall of Morties being tortured to keep the Evil Rick from being discovered. It wouldn’t have been unfair to award it a thousand jokes per minute for each Morty having his skin pricked. That would have skewed things quite a bit, however. “Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind” excels yet again in the visual joke realm, with each new Rick onscreen being funnier than the last.

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2. Episode 9: Something Ricked This Way Comes

Running Time: 22:18

Total number of jokes: 134

JPM: 6.04

Minute with highest JPM: 21st minute (9 JPM)

Best Joke: “You’re really playing with fire when you burst in like that, man.” – Morty

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“Something Ricked This Way Comes” features the exact same amount of jokes as the episode that follows it, “Close Rick-Counters.” But “Ricked” takes the JPM runner-up title with a slightly shorter runtime. The Devil selling people cursed items seems a touch high-concept to have this high of a JPM though each cursed item is inventive enough to count as its own joke. And the townspeople’s gullible responses to each one is never not funny. Rick’s “pass-the-butter” robot and Rick and Summer’s DMX-scored rampage are also series’ highlights.

1. Episode 8: Rixty Minutes

Running Time: 22:16

Total number of jokes: 146

JPM: 6.60

Minute with highest JPM: 7th minute (12 JPM)

Best Joke: “I’m gonna move to the Southwest and do something with…I don’t know: turquoise.” – Summer

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Of course “Rixty Minutes” features the highest JPM of Rick and Morty season 1. Its format isn’t so much an episode of television, as it is a JPM steroid shot. Having its characters sit on a couch and watch intergalactic television leads to some of the most inventive and hilarious writing this show, or any other, is capable of. By the time a Mexican armada turns up with weapons made from tomatoes in the Two Brothers movie, “Rixty Minutes” has achieved a 12-JPM minute. This episode is a marvel and mandate for the JPM as a statistical tool. It’s just a treat. As Morty tells Summer: “Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?”

Rick and Morty Season 1 Total JPM: 5.40

See page two for episode by episode data! 

You can check out all of our Rick and Morty coverage here.

It wouldn’t be an unscientific study without raw data! Did we miss a joke? Don’t agree with what constitues a joke? Let us know in the comments section or email us, tips@denofgeek.us

Episode One: Pilot – 21:33Minute: 1 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 2 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Visual- Rick opening the spaceship and all the bottles coming outMinute: 3 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 4 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “What so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now?” – RickMinute: 5 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s):  Math teacher freaking out at kids. “You know what I named these? MY little Mortys.” – Jessica Minute: 6 – Joke: 6 – Notable Joke(s):  Morty feeling up math teacher. “Five more minutes of this and I’m gonna get mad.”Minute: 7 – Jokes:  3 – Notable Joke(s): First Rick burp. Frank shattering. Horse operationMinute: 8 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 9 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s):  “We’re gonna die Morty!”Minute: 10 – Jokes: 5  – Notable Joke(s): Morty falling down a mountain because he didn’t turn shoes on.Minute: 11 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):  “If you ever have an affair with that guy, I’ll come to the motel and blow my brains out and cover your bodies in blood.Minute: 12 – Jokes :4 – Notable Joke(s):  Morty’s broken legs. “You’re like Hitler but even Hitler like cared about Germany or something.” Marty writing in pain for awhile.Minute: 13 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s): Rick drooling. Minute: 14 – Jokes :7 – Notable Joke(s):  “I’m gonna need you to put these way up your buttonhole.” Vigil for Frank.Minute: 15 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): The Glarp Zone is for Glarping and Un-glarping only.”  – PA system.Minute: 16 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Morty spitting out a creature that lives a whole lifespan in a moment. Minute: 17 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “They’re not robots, Rick!” “It’s a figure of speech, Morty. They’re bureaucrats! I don’t respect them.” Minute: 18 – Jokes: 6 — Notable Joke(s): “Albert Eindouche.” “I’m an angry father, not an improviser.”Minute: 19 – Jokes: 1 – Notable Joke(s): Morty’s got some kind of disability or something. Minute: 20 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 21 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Morty losing all body functions and groaning during Rick’s speech.Minute: 22 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): Rick and Morty 100 years dot com.Episode Two: Lawnmower Dog: – 21:01Minute: 1 – Jokes: 1 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 2 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 3 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Sound of beer bottles. “You don’t know me.” From the TV. Mr. Goldenfold.Minute: 4 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “Nice to wheat you!” as he throws wheat thins.Minute: 5 – Jokes: 6 — Notable Joke(s): The concept that all the dog has to do is put more batteries in the thing. Minute: 6 – Jokes : 4 – Notable Joke(s): Goldenfold’s subconscious freaking out.Minute: 7 – Jokes: 10 – Notable Joke(s): Ewwww SummerMinute: 8 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): The centaur is dreaming about a scary place.Minute: 9 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s)L Hilarious visual joke on TV. Women at a dog show teases dog with dog treat then eats it. Air bud.Minute: 10 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Rick knocks out little girl. Immediately ends up in same dream. “Where are my testicles, Summer?”Minute: 11 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “Snuffles was my slave name. You shall call me Snowball because my hair is fluffy and white.”Minute: 12 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “Man, he sure says bitch a lot.” – Rick. Minute: 13 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Family in cage. Scary Terry heads home. Minute: 14 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Scary Terry in high school is good for one joke. Everything else that comes along is one too.Minute: 15 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “Aweee, bitch.” Minute: 16 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Visual gag: Summer hugging Morty and Morty not liking being by her bewbs.Minute: 17 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Snuffles having mercy on Morty. Minute: 18 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Dogs playing cards, dogs picking up human testicles. Minute: 19 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Rick shuts Morty’s kidneys down. Minute: 20 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 21 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “It’s just like the end of Old Yeller.” – Jerry. “Awww because it had dogs in it.”Episode Three: Anatomy Park – 20:28Minute: 1 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham.Minute: 2 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s): “Put it in the stocking, Summer, or I’m joining Facebook.”Minute: 3 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s):  Minute: 4 – Jokes: 7  – Notable Joke(s): “I don’t have time for you to wrap your little walnut over everything.” Visual gag: Anatomy park logo. Shots of organs shooting off stuff.Minute: 5 – Jokes: 10 – Notable Joke(s): Immediately six visual jokes. “Mind the gap.” Sign that says “Pardon our dust.”Minute: 6 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Sight of Hepatitis A as a monster. Minute: 7 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “Jacob is your mother’s lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair. Sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.” Minute: 8 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s): More monsters Minute: 9 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Some guy is killed by a cough. “We don’t whitewash it, the pirates are really rapey.”Minute: 10 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Sight of food court. With Panda Express and Great Steak and Potato. Morty striking out with the girl.Minute: 11 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Robotic intestine people. “It’s a small, small intestine!” Gonorhea monster.Minute: 12 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 13 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): The sphinxter dam. We built it when Rueben became incontinent. Poncho has bubonic plague in his backpack.Minute: 14 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):  Minute: 15 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Jacob making out with Jerry’s mom and Rick’s dad gets in the closet with the Superman outfit.Minute: 16 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “Morty, can you get to the left nipple?” “Are you kidding, I’m hoping I can get to both of them, Rick.” “Would you like to ride the bone train?” “Why are you doing this bit, we’re going to die.” – MortyMinute: 17 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): E. Coli outbreak. Site of the giant naked man floating through space.Minute: 18 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Dick in the rocky mountains.Minute: 19 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Hepatitis C eats Hepatitis A and gives the thumbs up. Exploding man. Raining blood.Minute: 20 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “You dodged a bullet there, trust me. Puffy vagina.”Minute: 21 – Jokes : 1 – Notable Joke(s): Episode Four: M. Night Shaym-Aliens – 21:03Minute: 1 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Immediately Rick cutting open a rat. Mom acting weird.Minute: 2 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s: “Morty that’s exactly correct! 5×9 is at least 40.”Minute: 3 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s):  Morty getting seduced. “Take a shower with me, Morty.”Minute: 4 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “If everyone’s gonna be insane today, at least let me be insane with Jessica.” – Rick Aliens hating nudity. Minute: 5 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s):  “This is Earth radio and now here’s human music.” Jerry likes it.Minute: 6 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “Morty, keep your hands off your ding-dong! It’ll keep us safe.” Strudel hopping in a toaster car and heading to work. Minute: 7 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry struggling through apple pitch.Minute: 8 – Jokes: 12 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry happy he sold a pitch. “Slow down.” “Looking good.” “My man!” Mailmain glitching into a tree.Minute: 9 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Rick and Morty rapping. Rick glutting out the system.Minute: 10 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “Are you hungry for apples???” – Jerry while fucking. Pop tarts playing basketballMinute: 11 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s): This is going to be such a mind-fuck!” – Head Alien. Rick and Morty wrestling.Minute: 12 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry firing himself. Minute: 13 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “The milk people don’t have a patent on simple rhetorical questions!”Minute: 14 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Rick pulling down Morty’s pants.Minute: 15 – Jokes: 3 Notable Joke(s): “Today was the best day of my life.” – Jerry. Everything glitches out for Jerry once he’s finally complete.Minute: 16 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Poptart getting it’s eye poked. Minute: 17 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s): Morty’s a simulationMinute: 18 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “You simulated my grandson’s genitalia???”Minute: 19 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry writing an apple on the window. “I love you guys and I love all your families.” Spaceship blows up.Minute: 20 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry’s actual pitch gets him fired.Minute: 21 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s): Rick turns up in Morty’s room shiftaced. “You’re a real good kid, you’re a real character.” Rick holds a knife to Morty’s neck. “I’m sorry Morty, you’re a real good kid, Morty.”Episode 5: Meseeks and Destroy – 21:08Minute: 1 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s):  Morty having to vaporize his family, even if they are demonic alien spirits.Minute: 2 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “I don’t know, Morty, some people would be top dollar for that kind of breakthrough.”Minute: 3 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): First “I’m Mr. Meseeks look at me!”Minute: 4 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “oooooh yeah! Can do!”Minute: 5 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Meseeks giving a speech for Summer.  “She’s still there, Beth!”Minute: 6 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s):  Mr. Meseeks dumb smile is a joke. Disappearing. “Which is it: square my shoulders or keep my head down??”Minute: 7 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Two Meseeks! “Caaaaaan do!”Minute: 8 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): Giant slips and starts to bleed out. Has a wife and kid. Minute: 9 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “Have you ever tried to relax? It is a paradox!” “Mess usually don’t have to exist this long. It’s getting weeeeeird.”Minute: 10 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s):  Morty stuttering. Minute: 11 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Sight of dozens of Meseeks. “I can’t take this anymore! I just want to die!”Minute: 12 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Morty stuttering. Little staircase-shaped people. Minute: 13 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):  25 Schmeckels!Minute: 14 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): 2 days is an eternity in Meseeks time. “Your failures are you own, old man!” Mr. Jellybean!Minute: 15 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): Morty pushed into a bathroom stall. Messed mayhem! Marty killing Mr. Jellybean. This is the funniest minute. Minute: 16 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “Countries known for their sexually aggressive men.” Minute: 17 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Sight of Slippery Stare. Meseeks taking a hostage.Minute: 18 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry’s golf shot. “S’cuse me, I’ m a bit of a stickler Meseeks, what about your short game?”Minute: 19 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “No you won’t. The police are coming. You have so many questions to answer. Mr. Jellybean is king. Mr. Jellybean is dead.Minute: 20 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Wub a lub a dub dub!Minute: 21 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): King Jellybean’s lock box. Episode 6: Rick Potion #9 – 21:29Minute: 1 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Flu season dance. If you have the flu stay home. Minute: 2 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “Dude, stay in your league.” “I throw balls far. You want words, date a languager.”Minute: 3 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s): “Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”Minute: 4 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): Two Morty stutters. Morty pulling down his pants when asked for DNAMinute: 5 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Flu rap. “Flu-hating rapper just flowing away!”Minute: 6 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Brad getting the potion. “There’s something special about you, Morty. So special.Minute: 7 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 8 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Jessica dancing. “Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life!” SONG – “I love Morty and I hope Morty loves me. I’d love to wrap my arms around him and feel him inside meMinute: 9 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “I love you bad, bobo!” – Principal VaginaMinute: 10 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Townspeople turn into praying mantis monsters.Minute: 11 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): “We interrupt pregnant baby with breaking news.” Middle-East praying mantises “That doesn’t make any sense, Rick. How does that add up to normal human?”Minute: 13 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): “What it was like to give your son a bath?”Minute: 14 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Start turning into a CronenbergMinute: 15 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Cronenbergs across the world. “Bet you’re loving this Morty. You get to be the mayor of I told you town.”Minute: 16 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “I wish that shotgun was my penis.” “If it was, you could call me Ernest Hemingway.” “I don’t get it and I don’t need to.”Minute: 17 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “Y-y-y-y-you’re a little creep, Morty. You’re a little creep person!” The line Cronenberg is funnier over time.Minute: 18 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Rick and Morty blow up. Morty freaking out!Minute: 19 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “I’ll grab myself, you grab yourself. That seems fair to me.” The song, Morty digging a grave.Minute: 20 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Morty wide-eyed stare #1, #2, #3Minute: 21 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Summer re-enacting Jaws. You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty?Minute: 22 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Cronenberged Rick and Morty. Episode 7: Raising Gazorpazorp – 21:25Minute: 1 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Morty sees sex robot. Minute: 2 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “60 for the resonator and my grandson wants the sex robot.” Morty audibly humping in his roomMinute: 3 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Morty rushing downstairs for some orange juice then running back upstairs.Minute: 4 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Morty named it Morty Jr. Minute: 5 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die!”Minute: 6 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “Still think it’s a good idea to go through holes without a weiner.” “Great, now I have to take over a whole planet because of your stupid boobs.” Marty Jr. puking fire onto Jerry.Minute: 7 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “Summer, put your burqa on!” “The least you can do is be ashamed of your gender.”Minute: 8 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “You think it’s efficient to get rid of women?” “You ever see a line for the men’s room, Summer?”Minute: 9 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):The idea that Rick is Summer’s slave. Morty Jr.’s first words are death and domination.Minute: 10 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “And now weather: is anyone else cold or is it just me?” “I am here if you need to talk.” Their greeting. Minute: 11 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “Are you ruler on this Earth?” “How did you know?” “The quality of your top.” Rick fartsMinute: 12 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Morty Jr.’s violent drawings. Minute: 13 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Morty yelling at Morty Jr. Minute: 14 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 15 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “Marc? Jacob? These are names of the penis?”Minute: 16 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Morty Jr. is caught smoking. Morty pushes Morty Jr.Minute: 17 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Morty Jr. dancing in an abandoned factory.Minute: 18 – Jokes: 1 – Notable Joke(s): Rick doing the hands dance. Minute: 19 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Brad Anderson, creator of Marmaduke channels all his rage into his art. Minute: 20 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 21 – Jokes : 6 — Notable Joke(s): Rick farts again. “Wub-a-lub-a-lub-dub!”Minute: 22 – Jokes:  3 – Notable Joke(s): “There was violence and threats of poison gas…but also dancing.” Episode 8: Rixty Minutes – 22:16Minute: 1 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): The fact that Morty knows what Rick’s weird science stuff is. Minute: 2 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): This shit is delicious. Jerry on Letterman! Teddy bear shitting a spider web. Minute: 3 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): “A dimension where all proper nouns begin with smlu” Jerry’s in Cloud Atlas!Minute: 4 – Jokes:  8 – Notable Joke(s): They want to narcissitically obsess about their ultimate selves. Any in my Eyes Johnson!Minute: 5 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry Smith doing cocaine with Johnny Depp. Minute: 6 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “It’s got an almost improviatastional tone.”Minute: 7 – Jokes: 12 – Notable Joke(s): A Mexican armada turns up with weapons made from tomatoes.Minute: 8 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “It’s just called ‘Two Brothers’” *laughter* Minute: 9 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):  Ball Fondlers is an action show with dinosaursMinute: 10 – Jokes: 10 – Notable Joke(s): “I’m gonna move to the Southwest and do something with I don’t know, turquoise.” – SummerMinute: 11 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Real fake doors!Minute: 12 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “Still here, still selling fake doors!” Gazorpazorp-field!Minute: 13 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): Laughing at enchiladas. Minute: 14 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): They blew a tire on the way to the abortion clinic. “Vote no on Proposition XW2”Minute: 15 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Kids digging into the lucky charms leprechaun to eat his entrails for Strawbery Snickles”Minute: 16 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “Turbulent juice is coming and you’ve gotta take care of it.”Minute: 17 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s): “Baby legs, you’re a good detective but not good enough because of your baby legs.”Minute: 18 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 19 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s):  “Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywwhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?”Minute: 20 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 21 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry and Beth’s alternate realities converge. They wish they never got that abortion. Minute: 22 – Jokes: 11 – Notable Joke(s): Hamster that live in ButtsEpisode 9: Something Ricked This Way Comes – 22:18Minute: 1 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s):  “What is my purpose? Pass the butter.”Minute: 2 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.”Minute: 3 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s):  “You know my name? That’s disarming!” “So what are you, like the Devil?” – Rick.Minute: 4 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “Grandpa, go home and drink.” – Summer. Jerry is already upset about Pluto.Minute: 5 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for groups that think they’re doing the right thing.”Minute: 6 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): Rick has a serum to counteract the effects of impotence.Minute: 7 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Summer doesn’t mind working for the devil.Minute: 8 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): “Is there a company hiring teenagers that isn’t needful?” Jerry is trying to file a declaration that Pluto is a planet.Minute: 9 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “King Flippynips” is ruler of Pluto. Minute: 10 – Jokes: 8 – Notable Joke(s): Rick makes “Curse Purge Plus”Minute: 11 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “We’re back on Good Morning Pluto.” Marty gets introduced to Scroopynoopers, a scientist.Minute: 12 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Rich Plutonians can continue to mine Pluto for Plutonium. “Is everyone in your planet an idiot?” “Me and my dad for sure are.”Minute: 13 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):  “Jesus, what a waste of a monkey paw.” Minute: 14 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “Have fun not caring.” “I always do!” RickMinute: 15 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s):Minute: 16 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles and the Pickles is Pluto!”Minute: 17 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): The’yve captured Scroopynoopers.Minute: 18 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “Pluto is a cold, cold celestial dwarf.” “n33dful.com”Minute: 19 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): The Devil Zuckerberged Summer.Minute: 20 – Jokes: 7- Notable Joke(s): “You’re really playing with fire when you burst in like that, man.”Minute: 21 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s):  X Gone Give it to You montage. Hard to figure out jokes. Basically every scene change.Minute: 22 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): DMX MontageMinute: 23 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): DMX MontageEpisode 10: Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind – 22:25Minute: 1 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Rick and Morty get kidnapped.Minute: 2 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Transdimensional council of Ricks come to haul Rick away.Minute: 3 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s): “Our son’s been abducted! You hate me for buying these coins.” Council of Ricks. Cronenberg Rick and Mortys! Marty dazzlers!Minute: 4 – Jokes: 11 – Notable Joke(s): “S’cuse me, sir. Is your Morty insured?” “Fuck you?” “No, fuck me!”Minute: 5 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s):  Scientist formally known as Rick is dead too. He looks like Prince.Minute: 6 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s): That’s rickdickulous. Earth-Rick C-137. Rick and Morty go to a butt world.Minute: 7 – Jokes: 12 – Notable Joke(s): Greasy Grandma world and worlds wear pizzas order people and phones order sofas. Sofas order cell phones while calling pizzas and siting on peopleMinute: 8 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s) : The Ricks love Beth and hate JerryMinute: 9 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): The Ricks crank called Jerry. Phones a la clams. Morty is a camouflage. Minute: 10 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s):   Minute: 11 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “Not people, Morty. Morties.” One Morty is enough to hide from the bureaucrats but Minute: 12 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Dumb Rick likes Jerry. He’s from a reality where everyone looks like Eric Stoltz mask people. Minute: 13 – Jokes: 3  – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 14 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Evil Rick and Evil Morty. It would be pointless. Sorties have no chance of beating a Rick.Minute: 15- Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “Looks like payday at Neverland Ranch in here.” Evil Rick wants to download the contents of Rick’s brain then kill him.Minute: 16 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Doofus Rick makes brownies! “How long are you staying?” “Until we find your Rick.” “I’ve found mine.”Minute: 17 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): There’s a cult of Morties waiting for the One True Morty. Morty is the One True Morty.Minute: 18 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “You’re crying over a Morty?” “No, I’m just allergic to dispirits.”Minute: 19 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “Poor little Rick-less bastards.”Minute: 20 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 21 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “You make us ashamed to be ourselves!” This Rick was being controlled remotely. The Morty is the real evil. Minute: 22 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s): Minute: 23 – Jokes: 2 – Notable Joke(s):Episode 11: Ricksy Business – 22:25Minute: 1 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Leaving for Titanic trip.Minute: 2 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): “Well, we’re passed the point of no return. I’m gonna have a party. Minute: 3 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “Summer, you can’t have a party because I’m having a party…biiiiithc.Minute: 4 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): I can assure you the ship will sink as it has a thousand times before. Minute: 5 – Jokes: 9 – Notable Joke(s): “ I love watching bukakae, like I’m not sure if I would really do it or..” Tammy looks drunk. “It has been a challenging mating season for Bird Person.” That’s why you never invite a Foopydoop and a Schmoopy doop to the same party.Minute: 6 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s):  Alien not having sex in Rick’s parents bed, he’s just sick. “The thing people don’t realize about the Gear Wars is that they weren’t really about the gears at all.”Minute: 7 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): “Hey Rick, Squanchy party, bro!” Slow-Mobius!Minute: 8 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry and the lady running around like lovers. Minute: 9 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): I just got out of a highly-intense soul bond with my previous spirit-mate. Abradolf LinkerMinute: 10 – Jokes:  4 Notable Joke(s): “I have no quarrel with you, boy.”  Awkward encounter with Brad.Minute: 11 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): Squanchy masturbating with a noose around his neck. “Hey, I’m squinting over here.”Minute: 12 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s):  Minute: 13 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Poor Nancy is elected to go out and find the Calaxium Crystals. “James Cameronion rings.”  Oh God, Lucy disrobes. Minute: 14 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s):  “You’re gonna draw me.” “It’s weird because I definitely believe all men are created equal but at the same time…”Minute: 15 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Rick smoked the Crystals. “It’s the … it’s the… Rick Dance.”Minute: 16 – Jokes: 5 – Notable Joke(s): “You suck whatever your name is!”Minute: 17 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “I didn’t peg Lucy for a rapist.”Minute: 18 – Jokes: 6 – Notable Joke(s): Jerry throwing the necklace out the window.Minute: 19 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s): “I am in great pain, please help me.” What Wub-a-lub-a-dub-dub means. Minute: 20 – Jokes: 4 – Notable Joke(s): Bird-Person flies off with Tammy Minute: 21 – Jokess: 7 – Notable Joke(s): Fun montage of Rick, Morty and Summer cleaning and looting. “What a waste of time….oh!”Minute: 22 – Jokes: 7 – Notable Joke(s): “Roll credits! That’s the end of season 1!”Minute: 23 – Jokes: 3 – Notable Joke(s):  “Hey, bro!” “I don’t understand. Are you enjoying this? Do you like this???” – Lincler