The Apprentice (UK) 3.10 review

You have to feel a bit sorry for Naomi.

For the last few weeks, it’s been blatantly clear that she’d become cannon fodder, to the point where it became all about when, rather than if, Sralan pulled the trigger. But in the context of the admittedly-edited compilation of the TV selling task, she should have been sipping champagne rather than counting her BFH. She was merely mediocre in this episode. Simon, meanwhile, was quite spectacular in his failure.

But then we’re down to the wire on The Apprentice now, and even though Simon was marked as a complete tit on this one, he’s got through on past performances, and on product choice. Even so, surprising that no mention was made of his lack of producing skills, lack of presenting skills and lack of direction. But they’re minor qualities in the hunt for a television sta…. sorry, employee in the Sugar empire.

It was, to be fair, a cracking episode, all the better because both teams made collosal arses of themselves. Both managed to cut the income of a shopping channel by some 90%, and that makes all of them worthy of a pint in my book.

Kristina’s blasphemy on air would surely have seen her card marked had results turned around. Katie continued to prance around in her laughably regal way (it was Mavis with the big boobs this week), and Lohit tried to sell womens’ pants. It’s what primetime TV, surely, was invented for.

Comedic highlight still had to be Simon attempting to sell a trampoline, by basically pleasuring himself with detatchable legs. Out of context, that admittedly sounds wrong. But in context, it was wrong. So fair’s fair.

With regards the boss man himself, it was pleasing to see that the red rash on the side of his face hadn’t gone down, and it was sublime TV watching his face as he watched his wannabes strut their stuff on the telly. An overt, but quality, piece of editing. He couldn’t really rant too much at the end, thanks to the fact that he was pissing himself laughing. But expect business as usual next week.

And next week it really gets interesting, as it’s semi-final time. As predicted, Tre and Katie, neither of whom you expect to really win, have been given leeway to get this far, but with five about to go down to two, it’s going to be tricky. It’s the interviews next week, where you discover that someone’s blatantly a business genius. But we’ll make our prediction and suggestion that Simon and Katie will form the final two, with Simon to win.

We’re probably wrong, though…