Wait, Michael Bay wants to make a film about elephants?

News Ryan Lambie 19 Jun 2014 - 13:53

In an interview with Yahoo, Transformers director Michael Bay has suggested that his next film might be about African elephants...

For almost two decades, Michael Bay has served up a regular diet of slick camera moves, explosions and macho banter, usually yelled over the chatter of gunfire. Bad Boys set the Bayhem in motion; Armageddon blasted it into space, while the Transformers franchise has kept the action auteur busy for the best part of seven years.

But what could lie beyond all those transforming robots and alien invasions? That's a logical question, given that Bay's just finished up on his latest summer film, Transformers: Age Of Extinction, due in cinemas next month. A second Bad Boys sequel, perhaps? Or maybe another passion project akin to Pain & Gain?

During an interview with Yahoo, Bay may have revealed the unexpected answer.

"Any idea of what you might want to do?" Yahoo's Kara Warner asked, to which Bay replied:

"I don’t know. There’s an African elephant thing that keeps [coming up]. I always wanted to do one of those stories."

The story was first uncovered by The Telegraph's critic Robbie Collin, who shared the news on his Twitter feed. Bay's words immediately bring up a burbling stew of questions in our minds. What is this African elephant "thing" Bay mentions? What does he mean by "one of those stories"? Is there an entire genre of elephant-focused films we're not even aware of?

Could Bay be about to unleash an explosion-filled live-action remake of Dumbo? The mind boggles, and Bay failed to elaborate further in that interview. We'd ring him and ask him ourselves, but we've heard Bay doesn't take trunk calls.

(Sorry.)

More on this perplexing news as it comes in.

Yahoo

Robbie Collin

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He wants to make an environmental-themed movie about the extinction of elephants?

I can't stand Michael Bay movies, I despise them so much. Every single one is a 2 hour long beer commercial. His movies have been a stain on cinema since the first one was released. I don't think I could take anything he did serious. As soon as I would see the "Directed by Michael Bay" I would need a surgeon to fix my eyes from rolling.

I've often thought when watching films and Documentaries about Elephants, 'This needs more explosions'.

Sure, I mean why not? Go for it, Mike. Blow them all to hell.

Sounds like he wants to make a 'Spielberg' type of film. Something along the lines of War Horse. Something to make the audience cry!

Although that won't be easy with things blowing up around the Elephant non stop.

No doubt Marky Mark would line up to star in it now that they're BFFs.

"Hey Elephant. How's it going? Why are your ears so big?! I was in Ted, did you see that movie? I'm filming a sequel. Anyway, say hi to your mother for me...".

Robot elephants? Yeahhhhhh

Exploding Robot elephants

I always cry in a Michael Bay movie.
Usually my gf drags me to the cinema to watch his opuses.

We need to start a #whatwouldbaydo trend.

Let's hope he has in mind a movie of Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle's book 'Footfall.' About a race of human sized Elephants who invade the Earth. One of many books long overdue a film version.

"YEAH MAN...LET'S MAKE A MOVIE WHERE ALL THE ELEPHANTS HAVE EXPLODED BUT THERE IS ONE LEFT AND HE HAS TO MAKE A JOURNEY ACROSS AFRICALAND TO MEET THE SPACESHIP THAT WILL TAKE HIM HOME TO ELEPHANTIA.

GET ME A CHICK WITH CLEAVAGE TO RIDE HIM THERE!"

- Michael Bay, on the Internets, 2014.

Except the elephants will be giraffes and its set on the Moon

I like it :)

And one of them will be played by Megan Fox via motion capture and for some reason will still have-human like boobs. And then instead of a climax at the end we get a 36-minute long scene of Bay overdosing on cocaine naked and inside a giraffe sanctuary on the Moon, and then he turns to the camera all bloodshot and foamy-mouthed and says "Hurffgurrrgleflerp" and then dies twitching.
It makes $3 billion at the box office and wins 14 oscars. The sequel comes out the next week.

Speaking of future film projects, I have an idea for a successor to Tim Burton's Ed Wood biopic.

Let's hope if anyone adapts Footfall or the Moties, it's not Bay.

If he did do that I might well be morbidly curious enough to go see that.

I'm guessing he'll do it like Scarface, only starring Babar.

Dr. Bay: You
know, I have one simple request. And that is to have Elephants with
frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic
colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me
what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we
have?
Number Two: Zebras.
Dr. Bay: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated Zebras.
Dr. Bay: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Bay: Oh well, that's a start.

Same here. "Pain & Gain" was already an unusual movie for him, so I'm honestly curious to see if he'd make a serious attempt at making a movie about elephant conservation.

I have a fix for this, just don't watch Michael Bay films. Why watch so,etching you've already made your mind at before entering?

Could well be an adaptation of a Wilbur Smith book. They're awesome!

Just like terrorism, I can't turn a blind eye or the sickness will spread! Him directing Pearl Harbor was our 911! Never again should we allow O'Michael bin jiBay'st to run roughshod over history and turn everything sacred into cheesy arcade games!

And every single shot happens at magic hour, for some reason...

Oh god didn't expect that, proper made me laugh! :)

**LINE OF COCAINE** "Argh! I want to go bigger for my next film! Bigger MUST be BIGGER! **LINE OF COCAINE** Gotta be bigger than Robots! WAAAY F--KIN BIGGER! **LINE OF COCAINE** Gotta do it! IM MICHAEL F--KIN BAY YEAH! **LINE OF COCAINE** Whats bigger than big? Whats the biggest f--kin thing Michael Bay can think of? **LINE OF COCAINE** Whales? F--k that! Too wet. **LINE OF COCAINE** Hippos? Nah, too small **LINE OF COCAINE** I GOT IT! ELEPHANTS! BIG F--KIN ELEPHANTS! F--K YEAH! Patricia? **LINE OF COCAINE** Get Africa on the phone and tell them im coming there PRONTO **LINE OF COCAINE** YEAH! F--KIN ELEPHANTS! LETS GO! IM MICHAEL BAY!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!
(and that's how it went down man!)

"Wait, Michael Bay wants to make a film about elephants?"

Yeah...Elephants with freakin' lasers on their heads!!!!!

Oh dude, you totally beat me to it. I just posted something similar and then scrolled down to see this.

I think you mean #whatwouldntbaydo.

Hey, all his work isn't terrible. He did do The Rock and Armageddon (I don't know why people hate on that movie).

Blame Hollywood for that.

While filming Armageddon Ben Alfeck said to Bay ' Hey Micheal instead of sending miners to space, wouldn't they just train astronaughts to mine surely it more plausable for them to learn how to do this more than miners are to learn how to be come an anstraught?'..........Bays reasoned response 'shut the f*** up Ben'

Is he going to reboot transformers with Elephants?....cool
Elephants : age of extinction,
what a crank!

But they addressed that in the film. Remember Willis' character's quote: "“You know, drilling’s a science. It’s an art. I’m a third generation driller, doin’ it all my life. And I still haven’t got it all figured out."

They didn't need astronauts to be miners. And they didn't need miners to be astronauts. They put both on the two shuttles so that each could do their respective jobs and not have to rush to train either group to do something that they clearly weren't going to be ready to do in the timeframe that they had.

#whatwouldntbaydo - have a film without explosions

I shamefully admit, I REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT MOVIE!

Touché.

I speculate this:

Out of Africa II: The Departing, a documentary
about Arthur Dorgleberg, the first elephant catapult maker.

I'm 100% convinced that Michael Bay is the Les Grossman of Hollywood "You say you don't want a Michael Bay elephant movie? OK. Can you do me a favour? Take a big step back and literally F--K YOUR OWN FACE!!!!"

AN apartheid-era remake of Hannibal Brooks, perhaps. With Nicolas Cage and Shia Lebeouf in the Reed and Michael J Pollard roles.

Oh my god, that would make SO MUCH sense!

Here's a preliminary storyboard, courtesy of my girlfriend.

Here's a preliminary storyboard, courtesy of my girlfriend. ^^

Godammit. Wrong comment. It refers to the one further down.

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