Yes! The Daily Mail goes for Kick-Ass!

It was, as we predicted way back in December last year, just a matter of time. When we caught an early screening of Kick-Ass at the back-end of last year, our exact prediction - which you can read in full here - was, "Hit-Girl is going to make the Daily Mail shit kittens."

Ladies and gentlemen, those kittens have now firmly been shit.

It's a perfect storm of a Daily Mail story, to be fair. Kick-Ass features a violent 11-year-old girl swearing a lot. And the screenplay was written by Jane Goldman, who just happens to be the wife of Jonathan Ross. So what's the headline? Admit it - you saw this one coming...

"Jonathan Ross's wife Jane Goldman causes outrage with film featuring a foul-mouthed 11-year-old assassin."

How dare she be married to Jonathan Ross! I bet Jane Goldman is feeling really, really daft this morning.

The story, posted on the Mail's website last night, feels like it could have been made by the Daily Mail article construction kit. Check this out for an opener:

"With his eagerness to offend, his vast salary and the obscene ‘Sachsgate' phone calls, Jonathan Ross is no stranger to controversy.

Now, it seems, his wife Jane Goldman is out to prove that anything he can do, she can do worse.

Miss Goldman has caused outrage with a film she has written featuring a foul-mouthed girl assassin aged only 11."

Heck, never let a Daily Mail journalist near the back of a school bus. They would not have a very good day.

The Daily Mail story then dissects the character of Hit-Girl, happily quoting her lines but with liberal asterisks to protect the poor, swear-word-repellant eyes of Daily Mail readers. Brilliantly, the Mail also tracked down a seemingly rent-a-quote academic, this time the professor of sociology at Kent University. Presumably nobody else would return the calls.

The report then goes through the usual stuff about how kids aren't kids any more, and while it raises valid points about whether the very young should have access to such material (the stronger trailers of Kick-Ass, not the Daily Mail), it cloaks it all in such reactive, knee-jerk nonsense that any hope of a sensible debate is long out the window.

Naturally, the article ends with another dig at Jonathan Ross, as the Daily Mail mentions for the 28895932th time this year the Andrew Sachs affair. Even though, last time we checked, Jonathan Ross had nothing to do with the Kick-Ass movie. Heck, if Jonathan Ross' second cousin twice removed does anything bad, the Mail will be sure to tell us, won't it?

Anyroad, here's what you need to know: Kick-Ass is a terrific film, and one suitable for 15-year-olds and over. Which is why it'll have a certificate at the start to cement that fact.

If you want to read the Daily Mail piece, it's here. And we've also got a list of 10 more things that wel can blame videogames for that we wrote in reaction to its Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 rants last year. That's here. And the videogames that the Daily Mail won't mind you playing can be found here.

I can't wait to see what happens when the Mail actually reviews the film proper. It's going to be amazing. One star review, perchance?

Kick-Ass is out on March 26th in the UK.