The trailer Indiana Jones 4 should have had

News Simon Brew 25 Jan 2013 - 06:04
Indiana Jones

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull is a film with problems. This trailer for it as about as honest as it gets...

The reason most movie fans now don't seem to be particularly bothered about the prospect of Indiana Jones 5 is that they sat through Indiana Jones 4. It's fair to say that it's not a particularly loved film, and if you've ever tried to give it a second chance, it has a horrible habit of getting worse.

It's also, finally, attracted the attention of the Honest Trailers team, who have done some terrific work over the past year or two. And they have done again here.

Here, then, is arguably the trailer that Indy 4 should have had. Got to love those gophers...

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That was remarkably unfunny.

The idea was good but the execution was terrible.

This wasn't so much a "trailer" As just some guy talking and complaining.

Jesus Christ! While the movie has flaws (so does Raiders of the Lost Ark) the major flaw with this movie is the audience. Apparently they cannot handle the fact this isn't the early 80's and are too thick to realize aliens have as much place in a supernatural series as do invisible deities who melt faces with ghosts (try explaining the logic in that). People need to grow up and enjoy a movie that is actually fun. No it doesn't take itself very seriously, but most Indiana Jones movie don't.

Some good editing, but it's bad form to have a snipe at Karen Allen just because she's aged in the 27 years in between the two movies.
Nearly all of us look better in our 20s then we do in our 50s.

I did like the "over-the-top sound effect" edit, and "knowledge....knowledge was their treasure". Oh boy, that's a gem!

It wasn't so much the aliens though, they could have had aliens as long as the rest of the film was good and the story at least made sense. Tell me how many aliens was there 1 or 13? The films action was way too cartoonish and unrealistic, the whole chase through the jungle for example. What was with all the gophers? What were they doing in the film? The snake as a rope - ughh! The whole fridge scene - oh god! Giant ants? Tribes hiding in the walls on an ancient abandoned city for thousands of years - what?. The original films had flaws but they were at least good films. This film should never had been made.

The swipes at Karen Allen were unpleasant

Totally agree with Simon Burgess. It's a very cheap shot to have a go at Karen Allen for ageing. It's not a good film, but this is just bitchy with no good purpose. Worst of all it's just not funny. Considering how many millions of excellent vids out there to promote I'm Kind of surprised this was put up bu DoG. Poor show all round DoG

The originals had some silly actions scenes as well, most notably Temple of Doom. So I didn't have much problem with this movie. Some movies are sillier than others and this was on the Temple of Doom extreme.

The film was not THAT bad.

I think people really do forget some of the 'cartoonish' scenes in the previous films.

1. The monkey in 'Raiders'
2. Ghosts in the arc
3. Jumping out of a plane on a blow up dingy
4. Eating eye ball soup
5. 3 Magical eggs that glow
6. A man ripping out another mans heart, and him not dying.
7. Indiana Jones being 'possessed'.
8. Young Indy escaping through a magic trick on a train.
9. The whole bike chase scene in 'Crusade'.
10. Indys dad shooing birds into an oncoming nazi plane and taking it down.
11. The 'leap of faith'.
12. Drinking from the wrong cup makes grow old and die in 5 seconds

My point here is, they are FUN films...


For some reason people forget that so they can dis a new one which was actually very good.

To be honest I thought this nailed it.

It's only fault is elevating "Temple" and "Grail" to the same level as "Raiders". The rot had set in a few minutes into "Temple" - excellent opening sequence with the shoot-out in the night-club and the rolling gong acting as a shield as they leapt out the window and then a few scenes later they survive a fall from a plane using an inflatable dinghy. What? How?

Once your characters survive an event so dangerous in such a ridiculous manner then the storyteller has broken the rules of the internal physics of the world they have created and tension goes straight out the window. It's the same thing with the nazis in "Grail". They weren't scary like in "Raiders" they were just played for lazy laughs. Once you discredit the threat your heroes face then their victory is hollow.

I was only young when I saw "Temple" for the first time upon release in the cinema and I can distinctly recall the feeling of disappointment at that scene. I liked the rest of the movie but the spell was broken. I didn't understand why at the time but I just knew in my heart that this wasn't Raiders. This was just something that had been made to look like what I had fallen in love with - but I kept smiling externally bcause this was an Indy movie - right? But it wasn't really was it? Where were the great lines? "Truck? What Truck?". "Whiskeee...". "I'm just making this up as I go along". "It's not the years its the miles".

Forget it. The franchise died a long time ago. Everything since then has been rich-men's necrophillia.

And as for the Karen Allen jibes - it wasn't about her age - it was about the fact she hasn't done anything of worth in decades (tragically due to mental illness and alcoholism I believe) and her role could have easily been filled by any actress, but Spielberg and Lucas deliberately cast her out of kindness and friendship, hence the "lucky to be here" line - crass, but accurate.

"Knowledge. Their Treasure was knowledge." Jesus! Actors really will do or say anything you pay them to. Look at Hurt during that scene. What? Just flush your credibility down the toilet and pray for an Olly Reed style departure man!


Watching this I realised 2 things
1. I think Harrison Ford can still carry an action role if properly scripted
2. I hate Mutt
If there is to be a 5th movie make it time travel he can battle Nazi's one last time and eliminate the mistakes of the past (Mutt's conception).

haha i love honest trailers! people should watch the other ones he does

Ahem...cough...splutter...erm. Can I just say that despite the comments below, I thought that was the funniest thing I have seen in months?!?!? But then I did laugh like a drain at the Three Stooges remake.....

It was utterly UTTERLY merciless, stinging, cruel, evil, nasty, bitter, angry and down right vicious.....


Talk about hitting the nail on the head, then carrying on hitting said nail right through the piece of wood and then continuing to hit said wood until its then splinttered to toothpicks.

Really really funny...the line about having a steaming dump on the franchise, the stupid alien that should not have been in the film, shea le biff (what has happened to him these days? Maybe he is hanging out with Orlando Bloom...) swinging through the jungle, having digs at Harrisons age every five minutes, staring Harrison Bored, Gandalf etc etc...LOL!

Cruel or not though it did make some very valid points about the film, especially the sections riffing on the parts from the original trilogy. It just highlights something that I have said all along, that the film should not have been made. They really should not have done it. And I hope that they are still not thinking about a Indy 5. Because by the time that gets made, if ever Harrison Ford really will be about 80.

I know Indy 4 made a lot of money, I know some people liked it, I know that some of the plot / effects etc are no worse than the others, but it was still a bad film compared to the origianl three, the first one especially....oh well. Feel free to have a go at me now because I thought it was funny.....Probably because my humour and critical nature follows along the same lines as the people doing the trailer.....

Yes indeed....However, I never saw Raiders of the Lost Ark at the Cinema when I was a kid!!! The first Indy film I ever saw, was Temple of Doom. And I loved it. Why no Raiders? Well at the time I was a STARWARS nut! And I could not understand why Han Solo was in another film that was not StarWars! I could not see the point!
Yes I know...I am mad. Mad then, madder than ever now.
Anyway, I saw Temple first in the cinema, then Raiders on Tv at Christmas to catch up, then Crusade on video in 1989....happy days. Indy four should not have been made. It was made for all the wrong reasons. One of them was thatHarrison Ford had not been in anything good for ages, so decided to go back to it twenty years too late. As for Luca$ and Spielbuger....God knows what they were thinking....

These "honest" trailers are brilliant....check out the Avatar and Prometheus "honest" trailers on Youtube as well :)

"It was utterly UTTERLY merciless, stinging, cruel, evil, nasty, bitter, angry and down right vicious....."

For me, that's exactly the problem. It's not funny, nor is it trying to be. It's just downright vicious. I do love some honest criticism, and whilst I don't think the movie is that bad, it does deserve some criticism, but not this way. I would have enjoyed the same sort of thing a lot more if it had been clever about what it tries to do, but this is just complaining in the most nasty way possible. Opionions are opinions of course, but I really don't see how anyone could find this remotely funny, let alone hilarious.

The same goes for the Three Stooges remake, by the way, but again, opinions differ and I of course respect yours.

dude you need to learn about Honest Trailers! its a parody of movies whether there good, bad or indifferent! slagging them off for the fun!
You should see The Avengers one, thats awsome.
In a way its very ZeroPuncuation

I actually liked it, it was fun. The beginning was a little slow and Ford really showed his age then, but then it picked up.

I think it was a good as you could have expected it to be, in fact my real criticism was putting in Shia LaBeouf who made it seem more cheesy than it needed to

Yes indeed, it was harsh, but funny too. After I had watched it I went on you tube and looked at the others he has done. The one for Prometheus is funny as hell and so is the one for Inception and the Phantom Moonace. However out of all of them, the Indiana Jones one is the best by far, but also the harshest and most cutting. He really must have hated that film as much as I did. What can you do....

The swipes at KA were a bit nasty. He does make some reasonable observations, but if he'd chopped this down to, say, 1:30, it would have been a lot better. For one thing, if it had been tighter, it would have been more believable as a trailer.

Personally i thought it was amusing and accurate. This film had non of the character of the originals

I hate Shia LaBeouf, the monkey swinging scene was abysmal.
Other than that, I like the film. Nowt wrong with aliens imo, it's probably slightly more credible than the religious magic of the other 3. Plus it ties in nicely with the 50s / B-Movie theme.
Overall, it's better than Temple. So there.

Last Crusade is better than Raiders, in my book. It's the only one that I keep going back to watch again and again years later. Raiders is obviously brilliant and I love Temple of Doom as well (besides the racism) but Last Crusade is the only one that feels like more than a string of action sequences due to the Ford-Connery dynamic. And the whole Turkey (or rather Petra) section is the best climax in the series. Also, "You were named after the DOG?"

It wasn't harsh or cutting in an edgy way. He was simply trotting out every stock criticism that internet fanboys have been repeating endlessly since it came out. Nuking the fridge, Ford and Allen being older (HUR HUR SHE'S NOT AS ATTRACTIVE SILLY WOMAN), having Shia LeBouef in it, the monkey swinging scene, gophers (such a minor point I was baffled that it was always harped on about), the fact that a film set in the 1950s has the nerve to use Roswell aliens. It's just tedious and dull, and you can tell the guy doing it thinks that he's being really edgy and cutting, when he's just saying things that everyone has said before. It's like doing a Star Trek review and only moaning about lens flare or doing a Phantom Menace review and just going on about Jar Jar (Red Letter Media is a good example of a cutting review which DOESN'T just trot out Received Fan Wisdom on why that film is terrible and actually comes up with original criticisms.

Once again, nothing more than those who can't criticizing those who can. Petty.

I4 was definitely my least favourite but if ever there was a 'cartoonish' scene asking you to suspend (ie, throw away) disbelief it had to be when two adults and a child jumped from a plane hundreds of feet in the air use nothing more than an inflated rubber raft as a parachute, which they huddle inside and somehow remain upright in they whole way down. Then, with an other stroke of luck, they survive impact by land in a raging, rock filled river while ignoring the laws of gravity and inertia that would have probably seen them punch through the bottom of the boat. After that the nuked fridge and Shia swinging with the monkeys almost seem plausible.

Ok Ok didnt think it was that good or cutting. Well I did. The fact he was just saying what people have said on the internet is true. But at least he put it in a trailer and made something of it and got it out there. I just thought it was funny because I hated the film like many people, I also liked his other trailers. It reminded me of South Park at its most brutal and also Charlie Brookers Screenwipe / review of the year, because he says a lot of the things I am thinking myself, so I associate with it. Probably because he is in my age group. Anyway ok so you thought it was crap etc fair enough. As to Shia LeBouf, what is he doing these days? Whats his latest film because I have no idea. I wonder why he decided not to do Transformers 4. Its almost like Orlando Bloom all over again. After Lord of the Rings he was set up as the next young good looking Hollywood golden boy, and went into Pirates of the Caribbean and Troy etc, but after it became apparent he was a bit wooden etc he seems to have dropped off the map and is not doing a lot. I know he is up for a cameo in the later Hobbit films....Hmmm whats old Shea the Sheep doing? Curious....

I am starting to wonder why this was even put up on here. Why exactly? Has the reviewer just noticed Honest Trailers? Because they have done lots more, Prometheus, Titanic, Spiderman etc what makes Indy 4 so special? The Prometheus one is pretty good too. And they even have a go at the Avengers, which is either very brave, or very stupid, or just because...

1. The monkey is raiders wasn't CGI
2. Ill give you the dingy super silly
3. The ghost in the arc tied into the story. Aliens seriously ?
4. Eyeball soup (and monkey brains) are foods that people eat. While they have yuck factor hey aren't giant ants uniting like voltron.
5. The rocks are religious artifacts again following the theme of the movie ( the first 3 movies all delt with religious beliefs)
6. Yup crazy lol
7. Tons of people believe in hypnotism.
8. Magic tricks are supposed to fool and amaze. Wouldn't it be more surprising if it didn't work?
9. Movies have chase seems its not any crazier than any buddy cop movie.
10. This is my favorite one. You do know that a plane crashed in the Hudson River a few years ago because it collided with a flock of birds. It was a big deal the pilots quick thinking and ditching in water probably saved thousands of lives.

The crystal skull was terrible. His son can control what monkeys do because he swung on a vine with them? Come on! They didn't even try. The fridge was thrown 40 feet in the air even if he was some how protected from the nuclear blast pretty sure a 40 foot fall in a metal fridge would kill you.

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