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Why nachos should be banned from cinemas

Mark Oakley


Mark, still bitter about those brats ruining the screening of Iron Man he was in, continues his one-man quest to clean up our cinema-going experience...

Published on Jun 3, 2008

The people of Piedras Negras have a lot to answer for.

The Mexican city is apparently the birthplace of nachos and so proud of that feat are its residents that every October they host the International Nacho Festival. Thousands of people attend this event that features singing, dancing and, of course, eating. It also runs the Biggest Nacho in the World contest, the record for which is featured in The Guinness Book of Records. On the face of it then, the humble nacho is something Piedras Negras should be very proud of, having become a popular snack across the world… and in our cinemas.

However, I’m willing to bet that the original vision for the corn-based snack was a far cry from what is served up in our multiplexes today.

Every time I go to the cinema nowadays, my chosen film is accompanied by an all too familiar cheesy-salsa waft that assaults my senses. I’ve long been against the practice of serving up junk food in cinemas, ever since the introduction of the humble hot dog. My objection comes in two parts. First off, there are the standard reasons everyone has against it – endless rustling of packaging, loud eating, food splatters on your clothes, having to wade over god knows how much rubbish in your aisle after the film’s finished. These in themselves are all valid reasons to ban it. Incidentally, how can someone rustle away at their nachos for a whole hour before they’re done?

The other reason is one of economics. Cinemas are boosting their coffers and cinemagoers’ bellies by selling these add-ons and it invariably turns out to be a disappointing experience, certainly once you realise you’ve spent well over a tenner for the ticket, food and drink. I understand cinema chains have to make their profits somehow, and with more people staying away from their local multiplex in favour of watching movies at home, tempting visitors with astronomically priced grub is a long-established means of doing so.

However, surely they could come up with other alternatives to enhance the experience and tempt more people through the doors. How about movie promotional materials? Soundtrack tasters? Copies of film magazines? I’d be more than happy to fork out money for either of those options, and if cinemas could strike up a deal with the companies involved, surely it would be quids in for all concerned?

The bottom line is that serving up food in cinemas distracts non-eaters with the smells and sounds of greedy guzzlers and distracts the eaters themselves from paying full attention to the film. Cinema chains should do us all a favour and say ‘No more’ to the nacho.

Read Mark's rant against kids in cinemas here...

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Users Comments

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By cjlines 1 June 3, 2008 10:20:47 AM

I'd take a box of nachos over promotional junk any day of the week. At least if you've wasted your money on a rubbish film, you can take pleasure in the fact that your nachos are good. In fact, nachos and hot dogs have been the best things about half the films I've seen in the last year! Long may they crunch.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By twosheds 1 June 3, 2008 10:23:17 AM

F***in' A. Eat later - it's only two hours.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By simonbrew 1 June 3, 2008 10:23:34 AM

Four quid at my local fleapit they charge for this crisps with birdshit on. Scandalous.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By Matt 1 June 3, 2008 10:26:39 AM

What's your take on people laughing during a comedy film? It gets right on my nerves. In fact, even smiling can cause light to reflect off peoples teeth and cause all sorts of distractions. Some sort of overall ban on people having fun at the cinema; that's what's required here. Of course, I'm kidding. I do get that things have probably gone too far in terms of making the cinema an accessable place for the masses, especially those with a 3 second attention span. But I think that going too far the opposite way trivialises the argument. I did like the article though, even if I didn't necessarily agree with your point. It gave me the idea of the first ever Den of Geek Nach-o-rama, coming to a cinema near you.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By moakle 1 June 3, 2008 10:38:22 AM

Matt - You'll love my next few articles then.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By Matt 1 June 3, 2008 10:47:23 AM

If they're all going to be anti-cinema, then I can't believe you won't have found time to have a go at the number of adverts before films. Which I would love far more than you could ever know.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By RonHogan 1 June 3, 2008 11:53:53 AM

One of my best film-going experiences ever was at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinemas in Houston, Texas. Not only did you buy a ticket for the movie, you also bought food (hamburgers, fries, chicken, steak, real food!) and beer/mixed drinks from a fully-stocked bar. Heaven on earth when paired with Troma's War on the big screen.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By Robmac 1 June 3, 2008 12:51:41 PM

I just think we should buy a Den of Geek Cinema. That other website tha reviews films and passes random comments on things has one... ( you know the one, written by a chunky ginger guy in texas.. and Ron mentioned the cinema in question). I am sure they are not that expensive and we can get a row of 20 or thirty seats, all leather of course, get a bbq set and bar set up outside in the reception and put in a superb projection system and sound.. and let nobody like kids, teens or anyone who we deem not geeky enough to come in.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By DuncanMonkey 1 June 3, 2008 04:42:42 PM

Hmm I think I'm actually somewhere between, as on the one hand I almost broke someone's wrist during Indy for excessive food noise (mostly rustling), but then I do love drinking and smoking during movies at home, but then movie nights at mine are more of a social thing than a film watching event... I'm too tired to think and now I'm babbling.

Re: Why nachos should be banned from cinemas
Posted By RonHogan 1 June 4, 2008 01:23:16 PM

Rob, if he's 'chunky' then I'm half-starved to death, and that's certainly not the case!
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