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6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting

Simon Brew


Is Arnie really quitting politics next year? Does this mean he's coming back to the movies? Because here are some projects he should consider...

Published on Nov 30, 2009

The news this morning that Arnold Schwarzenegger is reportedly thinking about bringing his political career to an end once his term as Governor of California comes to end in 2010 has inevitably sparked speculation that he would be returning to the world of the movies. This year, after all, he's appeared (in a cheating way) in Terminator Salvation, and he's also filmed a cameo in Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables.

But were Arnie to return to the big screen proper, which project should he be looking to tackle? Here are our top six suggestions...

Crusades

If there's one lost Arnie project from the past that we'd love to see resurrected and brought back to life, it's Crusades. This was the film that he was due to make with his Total Recall director, Paul Verhoeven. The project, which Schwarzenegger apparently owns the rights to, was set to be a Middle Ages hack and slash epic, with a little bit of Conan to it, but its price tag forced Carolco out of making it.

The film has bounced around since, with the occasional rumour that it's been brought back to life. Sadly, time has likely made the project even more expensive, and the problem that Schwarzenegger faces is that he couldn't get someone to foot the bill in the 1990s when his star was at its peak. Unless he could somehow get a major current box office draw on board, we doubt the Arnie name could attract the money all be itself any more. How times have changed...

True Lies 2

There was  a real franchise opportunity for the character of Harry Tasker, the man with a double life that Arnie brought to life in James Cameron's action-comedy (well, it made us laugh a lot), True Lies.

Seemingly usurping the territory previously stalked by James Bond, True Lies looked like the building blocks for a new spy franchise. And then James Cameron went off to make Titanic for a long time, and by the time he emerged from that, Oscars in hand, his thirst for a sequel had seemingly been dampened. He then apparently dropped the project altogether post the September 11th attacks.

In the years since, the Bourne movies have demonstrated that it's possible to breathe fresh life into the genre once more, and we'd love to see Cameron cutting loose with Schwarzenegger on a movie set once more. They are the Scorsese-De Niro union of action cinema, and a fourth collaboration - it doesn't have to be True Lies 2 - would be a real treat. We fear, though, that it'll never happen.

Terminator: Salvation 2

Whatever you think of McG's Terminator movie, the way that it shoehorned in the return of Arnie was just a little bit clumsy. Our thinking is this: if you're going to have Arnie in a Terminator film, then do it properly. And if Salvation does get a follow-up of sorts, which is almost inevitable given the huge amount of money the Terminator rights are to be auctioned off for (it won't necessarily be a direct sequel, of course), then we urge whoever's making the movie to make a decision: either include Arnie, or don't. We're happy for him to be in a side role, rather than the star attraction. But don't cheat. Get the man in front of the camera again, or move on.

Predators cameo

Believe the reports, and there's room for a bit of Dutch in the script of the currently-filming Predators movie. We can't imagine this will happen, though, given that Arnie's political commitments take him to the end of 2010, and that the film is out next summer. But what about a further Predator movie beyond that? Or lending the AvP movies a touch of class? It's a long shot, but we'd love to see it...

Sgt Rock

Expendables has shown the way. In the late 80s/early 90s, Sgt Rock was a project mooted to bring together Arnie, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis in a major action movie. Granted, the three are finally sharing a scene in the aforementioned The Expendables, but a full motion picture based on the DC comic book? That had the potential to be amazing.

Again, the odds aren't great now, not least because Sgt Rock has been picked up for development elsewhere. Francis Lawrence is attached to direct (following his work on Constantine and I Am Legend), and a release date of 2012 is mooted. It's unlikely he'll look for such a showcase cast as was suggested nearly two decades ago.

A Tarantino movie

Once or twice we closed our eyes in the midst of Inglourious Basterds and figured this was the kind of film where Arnie could walk in, shoot some people, and walk out again. Given that Quentin Tarantino is the kind of director resurrecting people's acting careers, could he perhaps lend some of his magic dust to The Governator? Perhaps find some room for him in Kill Bill 3? Admit it: you'd pay to watch it...

Add your suggestions below...!

 

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Users Comments

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By chamelious 1 November 30, 2009 09:28:44 AM

Saw 10. Arnie takes over from jigsaw and forces his victims to watch "junior" over and over again until their eyes melt.

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By cordas 1 November 30, 2009 09:56:34 AM

I like the idea of an Arnie - Tarantino movie. The best Arnie action movies are the ones that have a bit more of an edge to them and Tarantino is synonymous with edgy movies :-)

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By gudge 1 November 30, 2009 11:00:12 AM

"My Prosthetic Leg" - Arnold and Danny DeVito team up for round 3, as Arnie plays a car crash victim that loses his leg, with Danny DeVito playing his new prosthetic limb.

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By gudge 1 November 30, 2009 11:00:37 AM

ps. Hilarity ensues.

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By geekmom 1 November 30, 2009 02:47:16 PM

I'm shocked that Jingle All the Way 2 isn't on this list. Such a fine piece of cinema truly deserves the sequel treatment.

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By matimage 1 November 30, 2009 03:11:41 PM

Let him go. The 80s and 90s belonged to him. He has had his day. Supporting parts only please.

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By micah.byrd 1 November 30, 2009 04:30:05 PM

The only thing that I can think of off the top of my head is a walk on cameo at the end of the next xXx or something as Vin Diesel's father or something. I am sorry but I just don't see sixty year old dudes as action icons, Rambo (and HGH) notwithstanding.

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By Lucas 1 November 30, 2009 05:47:26 PM

Commando 2 with an old John Matrix back in action a la Rambo 4, gory action movie, would be great.

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By R-type 1 November 30, 2009 09:27:03 PM

"Last Action Heroes" Except instead of jack slater, some new kid goes in and out of loads of actual films like predator and terminator and rambo and crank. Kid gets involved and a bunch of movies cross over. The ultimate VS movie. admit it, wouldn't you love to see riggs and murtaugh tackling predators while arnie is yelling at it, and the demolition man is confused as to why "president arnie" is fighting in the streets?

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By sbradford25 1 December 1, 2009 02:24:47 PM

No

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By gudge 1 December 1, 2009 05:29:11 PM

Yes

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By Tlotoxl 1 December 1, 2009 07:57:49 PM

Arnie's time has gone - he got out at the right time, I never even finished [have to go off and check the name on IMDB, it was so memorable] Collateral Damage was so bad I didn't even get half way through before I turned off. Clint Eastwood can get away with older action roles like Gran Torino because he is an excellent actor, Arnie quite definitely is not (and I used to be a big Arnie fan in the 90's)

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By MediaOKra 1 December 2, 2009 04:49:09 PM

Sci fi comedy like Dark Star

Re: 6 films that Arnold Schwarzenegger should make if he returns to acting
Posted By gudge 1 December 2, 2009 07:13:48 PM

To be fair to the man, what he lacks in acting talent he more than makes up for in charm. We have seen him evolve from being so bad he was dubbed over (Hercules in New York) to earning $40m for Terminator 3. Now I agree Collateral Damage was guff (I also bought the DVD and didn't get past half way), but that was at a point in history when the action genre was driven mainly by the effects and not the actors. There is a resurgence at the moment of nostalgia driven 80's style action movies. An Arnie vehicle he right script with a competant director would be much easier to sell now. Simon mentioned True Lies 2, and I can't help but get excited at that notion. True Lies is probably one of my favourite films. It's enjoyable from start to finish, and at no point do I ever think Schwarzenegger isn't entertaining. Recently we have seen Arnie in the news for his infamous letter when he spelt "FUCK YOU" with the first letter of each line to someone that opposed one of his political decisions. It's this Arnold that will drive any new films he might make, and in doing so you can be sure he will deliver without pandering to a family audience as you might expect from an ex-Governor of California. Basically, Ahnuld is the man.
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