It’s a little known fact, apart from the people unfortunate enough to sit next to Simon in a pub, that’s he’s not a massive fan of the Hanks, in spite of the quality of some of his movies. Does he really, against other actors of his generation, deserve two best acting Oscars, and seemingly 274242 nominations?

His choices, to be fair, have shown an ambition beyond that of many of his peers, but his films have a horrible habit of being overrated.

So, in the same way that fate has previously befallen Kevin Costner, The Cruiser and Harrison Ford, it’s time for the Den Of Geek Ready Reckoner ™

Big
The good body swapping movie.

Turner & Hooch
The less-good dog buddy movie

A League Of Their Own
Long, but enjoyable

Sleepless In Seattle
Horrible, and made me feel ill

Philadelphia
Important? Yes. Patronising? Yes.

Forrest Gump
A good 80 minute film, that’s 142 minutes long

Apollo 13
Er, was it just me that thought this was just ‘okay’?

Toy Story
Impressive, but – nnnghhh! – overrated?

That Thing You Do!
Throwaway, but quite good

Saving Private Ryan
Gut-wrenching, but very uneven

You’ve Got Mail
Horrible, and made me feel ill

Toy Story 2
Superb, and better than the original

The Green Mile
Manipulative, but still very good

Cast Away
Pleasant, and a terrific lead performance

Road To Perdition
Striking, but Paul Newman’s movie

Catch Me If You Can
Fun, but nothing more

The Ladykillers
Passable, but pointless

The Terminal
Mawkish, and not very good

The Polar Express
Passable, and it is for the kids


Not watched:

The Da Vinci Code. It was bad enough watching everyone read the sodding thing on the train

Also: Dragnet (can’t remember a thing about it), The Money Pit ( remember it getting on my nerves but not much more), Splash, The ‘burbs (think I hated it).

Argue away in the Comments section below. Next up in the Ready Reckoner chamber: George Clooney…