Bizarre reasons parents gave for not letting you see a film

Feature Den Of Geek 25 Jul 2012 - 06:04

Most people were stopped from watching a film for one reason or another while they were growing up. But can any of the reasons you were given beat this little lot...?

Last week, on Twitter and Facebook, we posed you a question. Just what obscure reasons did your parents give to stop you watching movies?

Personally, I didn't have too many disagreements with mine, save for my mother threatening to report the local cinema chain when I got in to see The Last Boy Scout underage. My dad never let me connect my Spectrum computer to the colour television either, because he said hooking the two together would break the television. I think I realised I was a bit nerdy when I demanded a detailed explanation as to how that could possibly happen. Friends, I am still waiting for it.

Anyway, here are some of the ones you sent to us. We've listed the film, the reason the person concerned wasn't allowed to see it, and the sender. Do feel free to add your own in the comments section

We think you'll love our favourite, which we've saved for the very end...

FORREST GUMP
@MFBrigg's mother banned this one, because "it doesn't look educational, and that bloke doesn't look like he's all there".

BATMAN RETURNS
"Mum said I was too young", @MattFricker told us, "and should write to the BBFC. I did, and got a lovely reply!". Sadly, we couldn't get hold of a copy of that reply...

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
Sometimes, parents get it right. @BindiBangi's parents told him that if he watched Temple Of Doom, "you'll get nightmares". "Promptly ignored by me", he told us. "I watched people turn to ash. Had nightmares. Parents 1, Me 0".

DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR
@TunaEd was stopped by their dad from watching this one. The reason said father gave? "He wanted to preserve my brain cells".

THE MOVIES OF PATSY KENSIT
The aunt of @naomimulgrew had strong views on Patsy Kensit's body of work, and thus imposed a ban when she was on babysitting duty. "Patsy Kensit = nudity back then, apparently".

HOWARD THE DUCK
@Orangewarrior was banned from watching this one, because "The Times reviewer said it should be used for punishing children".

THE LOST BOYS
We love the ruleset that @Agent547 grew up under. "My mum wouldn't let me rent The Lost Boys because it had sex in it. But she let me rent RoboCop instead, as it was 'fantasy'!"

BRAVEHEART
"My mum had a thing about hanging, so any film with hanging in it was a no no for a long time", recalls Andrew Bullmer. "I didn't see Braveheart until I was 18, but I got Grand Theft Auto: Vice City for my tenth birthday. Now that's priorities." 

FAME
"I was told I wasn't allowed to stay up to watch Fame because it was 'a film about a terrifying monster which eats people'", reported Graham Cammack. "Looking back, my mum was right to shield me from such evil."

THE SNOWMAN
From Francesca Campbell: "I was banned from watching The Snowman. We had recorded it on VHS over the beginning of Indiana Jones - when The Snowman finishes, it cut directly to the scene where the skulls come out of the trees in the jungle. My little brother was so mentally scarred he couldn't watch The Snowman for years!". Now that's editing...

TOTAL RECALL
George Gibson was banned, but not for the reasons you might think. “Verhoeven violence and three-boobed ladies was totally fine, but my mum thought the very idea of 'those poor people being charged for air' was far too distressing for my young eyes!”

THE SMURFS
"I was not allowed to see or read anything with Smurfs - the TV series or the comic books - because my parents thought I would lose my vocabulary", Inga Bazinga told us...

THE DAY AFTER
Scary one, this, from Justin Hampton: "When I was a kid there was a small panic going on around a TV movie called The Day After. The movie was meant to be a realistic look at nuclear war with a bomb hitting somewhere in Kansas. My school sent a warning letter to all of the parents, and my mom, of course, decided that I wouldn't be allowed to watch it because it would be too "real". I found a bargain priced DVD of it a few years ago and bought it but never bothered to watch."

POLTERGEIST II: THE OTHER SIDE
"Forcibly removed from the VHS player by my Dad", Stephen Saul recalls, "after he walked into the living room and saw the frozen wide-eyed grimaces of my sister (11 yrs) me (9 yrs) and my brother (7 yrs) as the vomit monster attacked."

TIME BANDITS
"Time Bandits was banned in our house", reports TashaAJ. "Mum thought it'd be much better with taller people in it..."

LORD OF THE RINGS
"I wasn't allowed to watch Lord Of The Rings because my parents said even though it was, according to them, a Christian allegory, it was about demonic possession so I would get possessed by watching". That's from Melissa Menchini.

POCAHONTAS
From Rebekah Helms: "I wasn't allowed to watch Disney's Pocahontas because my mother was afraid I'd start worshiping trees. Fern Gully - same story."

STREET FIGHTER
From the fine folks at MapleStStudios: "Because it was 'derogatory towards indigenous people.' Apparently, JCVD's acting wasn't bad enough on its own."

ALIENS/PREDATOR
A round of applause for @daveroper77's dad. " In my mid-teens, Aliens and Predator were banned for nasty looking aliens. My Dad argued 'why can't they all look like ALF?'" A fair point.

Before we get to our top five, an honourable mention:

ROBOCOP
This is from @SteJay: "Rather than ban me from films, my Dad would make me my own copies of movies by cutting out gore/nudity, and then dubbing out any swearing. RoboCop for Kiddies was about 20 minutes long." 

And then, here's our top five...

5. THE NEVERENDING STORY
Jamie Harvey, we like this. "When I was a kid my dad refused to take me to see The Neverending Story because 'it went on for too long!' I'm ashamed to say I've used that cliched old gag on my own kids as well..."

4. TITANIC
Roseosaurus Pope? We love your mother. The reason she gave for not letting her daughter watch Titanic: "My mum wouldn't let me see Titanic until I was 14 (even though it was a 12 certificate) on account of the fact, and I quote, 'That it will give you unrealistic expectations of romance'. Oh, and you should never get naked for a bloke who asks to draw you."

3. DUMBO
This is brilliant. "Mum believed Dumbo died halfway through, and the second half of the film was a vision of the afterlife", said @fechtbuch

2. MONTY PYTHON'S LIFE OF BRIAN
"I was banned from The Life Of Brian because it was godless and blasphemous", says Frank Westworth. "Sadly I was about 22 at the time and didn't live at home. Before that it was Women In Love, banned for me because of the nude wrestling scene. Which was in fact the main reason for watching the movie..."

And how could you not love our winner...

1. BACK TO THE FUTURE
"Not me", said @Sparklyfiend, "but my best friend's mother put the kibosh on (re)watching Back To The Future, because 'it'll give you ideas'". 

Add your own in the comments below...

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