The Nicolas Cage drinking game

During the last month and a bit, I’ve worked my way through almost every Nic Cage movie there is. I still have some to go (and I look forward to them wholeheartedly!) but I think I might have overdosed on Cage just a little bit.

What becomes obvious after several Cage movies is that there are certain things that he’ll just do. Regardless of whether the role requires it. If the director is good, he or she will keep Cage firmly on his leash, and fewer Cageisms will make it to the screen. If he or she is not so good, well, then, The Wicker Man happens. Because it’s not that Nic Cage is a bad actor, but he does tend to rather over-do it.

It’s weird; it took until The Wicker Man and Ghost Rider for me to really appreciate how much fun Nic Cage is to watch. If you’re not quite getting it yet, grab some booze of your choice and an armful of DVDs and follow these rules:

Take one drink when:

– Nic Cage shouts- Nic Cage punches someone- Nic Cage points with his entire arm- Nic Cage makes an Elvis reference- Nic Cage drinks a martini

Take two drinks when:

– Nic Cage has implausible facial hair (okay, only the first time you see it)- Nic Cage drinks something from a martini glass that isn’t a martini- Nic Cage displays some kind of facial tic- You suspect Nic Cage has been allowed to supply his own wardrobe for the character- There are multiple Nic Cages onscreen at once

Drink everything when:

– Nic Cage goes on fire.

Give up alcohol forever if:

– Nic Cage doesn’t do anything of the above and instead turns in a quiet, measured, reined-in performance. There’s just no point in carrying on.

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