Edgar Wright's decision to direct an Ant-Man feature film in 2008 suggests that ANY comic book character is fair game for an adaptation nowadays. A badly dressed, insecure paranoiac with a Napoleon Complex, Ant-Man was constantly overshadowed by his fellow Avengers and his solo comic was the least commercially successful of any launched by Marvel throughout the Silver Age; and yet … he gets his own movie?

In the 21st Century, the Marvel Universe is a full-on multimedia world and clearly everything must be assimilated. Whilst most early attempts to televise or film even the finest of comics resulted in Lycra-tastic camping or squeaky-voiced cartoon stereotypes, the superhero movie has critically and commercially come of age in the last decade. The bandwagon is rolling with nitro boosters.

So what about a Forbush Man movie, based on the antics of the anti-hero from Marvel's legendary Not Brand Echh series? This saucepan-headed loser was blessed with No-Power. No one has ever been quite certain what No-Power does, but it's very likely it does nothing. Perhaps the charisma-barren Paul Giamatti could be brought in to play the part?

Or how about Mole Man? Possibly the lamest supervillain within the Marvel Universe, his criminal devastation amounts to little beyond some spiteful property damage in the 1960s and multiple failed attempts to burrow into the Earth with his drills. He was last seen being kidnapped by the Lava Men somewhere in the inner caves; a whimper of an ending for a dull, pointless character. Hmm. With those credentials, this could be another Giamatti opportunity!

It’s not Marvel, but I will cry black, treacly tears of despair on the day when they make a movie of my least favourite comic character of all time; THE SAVAGE DRAGON. A lean-finned, green-skinned behemoth of a creature who joins the police force and fights evil everywhere; from keeping Chicago’s streets clean, to saving the President from supervillain Mr Glum and his weapon, the ‘God Gun’ (manufactured in Iraq, no less). I’m, sadly, not making this up. Quite an achievement that the Dragon manages to do all of this gung-ho fannying about without once giving in to weaknesses like, say, a personality. Hey, wait a minute. Someone get Paul Giamatti on the phone!

Ah. But enough cynicism. Try as I might to be scathing, I still keep buying into all this junk. Who am I to complain if there are hundreds more comic book adaptations coming out? Some of them are even getting pretty good; I have to admit that I adored the recent Ghost Rider adaptation every bit as much as the comics. Maybe one day we’ll see some more of my favourite characters get their own movies:

• Deathlok, the rogue cyborg killing machine could make for one Hell of a cyberpunk action movie.
• Doctor Strange, the mysterious Sorceror Supreme of the Marvel Universe is crying out for the Tim Burton / Johnny Depp treatment.
• ... and Marvel Zombies! How can this ingenius mini-series not be turned into a film? It’s got Marvel superheroes as zombies! This may well be my idea of utter perfection.

So yeah; some ridiculousness afoot in the near future I’m sure, but there is still a treasure trove of quality goods to mine. I should stop being bitchy and enjoy it, because I know that Ant-Man or no Ant-Man, I’ll still be forking my money out for anything with the Marvel logo on it. Ultimately, I’ll get whatever I deserve.