Personally, I like to pretend that Tobe Hooper’s 1974 The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is the only film in the series, and that none of the others ever happened

It's like Glee, but with horror and not just horrible music.

It’s as tense as a Sunday scoot round Ikea with a ripping hangover, and only marginally less horrific.

Be on the look out for a barrel-chested, black security guard or a grizzled ex-soldier who was in a globally recognised conflict. They’re always handy.

Maybe depressingly, now seems like the perfect time for a decent satire on the parochial fear of difference, whether it's men in fishnets, women in veils or US presidents with foreign-sounding names.

In a weird way, My Blue Heaven is - genuinely - Goodfellas 2, and it's when I learned this that I found watching the film a lot more interesting

Horror films, sequels or not, seem to be stuck in a rut.