Based on some of the nominees, I wouldn't let some Academy voters hold the remote to my TV, yet alone vote in awards that can make tens of millions of dollars of difference to a film's bottom line.

I have the dubious distinction of working at ILM for thirteen years, and I never once got a movie that got nominated for an Academy Award.

What better way to point out the inherent stupidity and vanity of a fancy dress awards party than to become an anti-host, smirking and halfassing your way through a three hour back patting session?

We've now reached a point where, regardless of what award is being accepted, the only thing less genuine than the speech being given is the face that it's tumbling out of.